Romance Art

Future Internet

2010-04-13T09:15:00.000-07:00

Future Internet 3: People are leaving the rat race and its ignorant ways behind
by: M6.Net Web Hosting

The strangest thing is happening out in that magical meeting place called the Web. People from all over the world are using Internet technology to connect with others who want to leave many aspects of modern social paradigms behind. Small communities and movements are being formed based around new ideas on how people want to live in the world. Concepts like 'well-being' as opposed to economic profit as the purpose for life are being shared amongst minds all across the globe. People are expressing their philosophies over the Net and the results are very inspiring. Many are realizing that they are not alone in wanting to change the world for the better.

Have you ever heard of ecovillages http://gen.ecovillage.org/? These are actual places where people of like mind are deciding to cohabitate in a sustainable way that leaves minimal impact or ecological footprint on the environment around them. It is almost like this modern technology is helping us return to a time where people lived at one with the Earth, while the village type of living must be a great conduit for traditional close human relationships among families. These villages are popping up all over the world; culture and nationality is irrelevant. This is a process of informed minds deciding to collaborate with others to experience a type of life defined on their own principles. Could the Internet itself have been the medium of information and communication that sent these souls on their quest for a new way of being?

Another new movement that I've come across is Slow Food: http://www.slowfood.com/ and with it, Slow Cities. This group of people started out as a reaction to the fast food industry that they believe goes against what eating should be about, as well as its effects upon the environment. Now whole cities are calling themselves 'Slow' and altering their practices of food production so that wild and farmed populations of animals and vegetation are treated with dignity and with sustainable biodiversity in mind to keep future human generations healthy. There are currently over 80,000 members in over 100 countries who believe that the eating process shouldn't be homogenized, taste is important, and keeping rare plants and flavors alive is necessary to keep the true 'spice of life'. I don't think any of us want to lose the enjoyment of a meal that tastes different from any other, where we sat for hours enjoying our friends' company, and where we know that the whole eating process didn't scar the world.

As I am currently based in Australia I have discovered a few other concepts that I'm sure are prevalent in your nation as well. Downshifting Downunder http://www.downshifting.net.au is a site dedicated to downshifting, or making the conscious decision to work less, get paid less, consume less, and have plenty more time for the things in life that are important, like spending time with those you love. We only have so much time here on our planet and I'd be quite unhappy on my deathbed to realize that I had spent nearly all of my magical human existence working for money, accumulating possessions, and damaging the Earth while never getting to know my family and community. Not getting to enjoy the natural beauty that our surroundings have to offer, or ever encompassing a complete feeling of relaxation would be a great shame. This group believes that 20% of all Australians have chosen to downshift with the motto that 'consumption is not the only way to happiness.'

This idea coincides with another site I read about in an Australian Conservation Foundation magazine called http://www.wellbeingmanifesto.net/. This is a manifesto that questions the focus of the Australian political system. It states that Aussies are three times wealthier than their parents and grandparents in the 1950's and yet we are not any happier. This small group believes that a change in focus from a purely profit-driven mentality to one that values social and individual well-being is the key to a better future. I've read about the country Bhutan which has the measurement GDH instead of GDP, Gross Domestic Happiness instead of Gross Domestic Product. Could we also need a shift from materialism to one of a simple emotional prerogative?

As this article was greatly influenced by words from the ACF, I feel I also must mention their website http://acfonline.org.au/ and the section you can click on called Green Home. This is an awesome eye opener for other average people like myself who would like to make a difference to how we are living in our present lifestyle. It has sections like Gardens, Shopping, Transport, Waste, Water, Energy, and Packaging, which show you how a small change in these areas of your life can have huge positive repercussions for the environment, as well as your wallet! I had to stick that fact in, as I do know how necessary every dollar can be in this consumer capitalist world we live in.

Did you know that by keeping your car's engine in tune you would reduce greenhouse gas emissions by 5-15%? You can also save 100kg (220 pounds) of pollution each year by keeping your tires at the maximum recommended pressure. You can reduce evaporation of water in your garden (44% of household water is used on the garden) by 70% when you use mulch (leaves, grass clippings etc). Having your appliances like TVs and computers on standby power uses 11% of all Australian residential electricity. What a waste! There are many more facts on their site that will inform you how to have less of a damaging effect on the world while you're here, check them out.

As you can see, there is a revolution going on around us as we speak. It is a quiet revolution of the collective consciousness of our species. New technology has meant that we are now becoming more informed (or rediscovering ancient wisdom) about our interrelation with the world. Instead of rats racing toward the cheese, we can become turtles enjoying the breeze.

By Jesse S. Somer

www.M6.Net

Jesse S. Somer is a believer that humanity will one day be a happy species that lives at one with all that it relates with.

Gavin Thomson is a freelance illustrator/ graphic designer who is still convinced you can make a living by drawing pretty pictures for people in exchange for $. While he creates in a variety of styles and mediums his primary love is comics. You can view samplings of Gavin’s work at his online portfolio http://www.gavinillustration.com

Leaders in Web Hosting, M6.net is a strong company that has pioneered in the web hosting industry since 1997. The company started with nothing but a few web sites and less clients; and is now hosting over ten thousand web sites across more than one hundred countries around the world. For reliable web hosting M6.net offers the best value, starting from $4 m/o with 500 MB space, 20GB bandwidth, a 30 Day Money Back Guarantee and 24 hour support.

Ghost Mothers

2010-02-19T07:45:00.001-08:00

Ghost Mothers
by: Paula Krapf

So many women talk about their relationships with their mothers—no matter how old they are. For some, their mother, from whom they have supposedly separated long ago, still occupies a central place in the psyche. She’s too close, she’s too much. She has advice, is nosy, and interferes. The daughter wants time away, she wants boundaries, and fights for her separation from her mother.

For others, the mother still occupies the psyche, but with a wrenching kind of longing—a mother that is biological and even sometimes present, but also a mother who is so self-involved as to be emotionally absent, or literally out of the picture. This kind of mother takes up space and energy as a nagging, missing piece, a ghost. Her image hovers, her memory, or perhaps a dream of how it could have been, should have been, but never is.

Which kind of mother do you have?

My mother was a dream. I realize now, 10 years after her death, that I was always trying to get the dream to come true—to have her be warm and huggy, to have her want to know me, to visit me in my house, to know my children. To know me. It never happened. It left a yearning that I played out with men, it left a hole that I tried to fill in many ways.

When I was little, she left me when I was four years old, and once a year appeared in the landscape of my life—I lived with her mother—only to disappear too soon and in a flurry of anger at her own mother, without seeming to notice how hard it was for me.

So many people—men and women—struggle with this kind of emptiness, the burn of anger in the pit of the stomach, the unanswered questions that can’t be asked—why are you like this?

Mothers who are neglectful, selfish, and abandoning do not set out to do these things, they are a result of her own problems, her own pain, and maybe even mental illness. It is hard for us as her child to see this fully, or to forgive it.

How to help to heal the Ghost Mother wound:

1. Learn about your mother’s life—how she became the way she is—though talking with relatives, if she won’t talk to you directly, or by sitting down and hashing through history shown in photos and family albums.

2. Find adoptive mothers who will nurture you, and friends who understand your story.

3. Learn to mother yourself—though therapy, through having children of your own. They will teach you.

4. Write your story. Tell your story. Having witnesses to your story is a part of healing. Seeing compassion in the eyes of others shows you that you are worthy of it, and deserve it.

5. Learn to forgive. Work on it. Work on being yourself and having a life you like and enjoy.

6. Learn to surround yourself with who you like, people who love and like you, and beauty that makes you feel part of the web of life.

Linda Joy Myers, Ph. D., prize winning author of Becoming Whole: Writing Your Healing Story, is a Marriage and Family therapist and teaches memoir-as-healing workshops in the San Francisco Bay Area and nationally. Linda’s work has been praised by reviewers, healers, and radio and television interviewers.
You can visit her web site at: http://www.lindajoymyers.com

Feng Shui and Romance

2009-07-16T18:56:00.000-07:00

Feng Shui and Romance
by: Heidi Richards

Using the Ancient Art to Enhance Your Romantic Space

“If your love life needs a quick boost, you can use the art of placement to produce the romantic results you desire.” Heidi Richards

Feng Shui (pronounced fung shway) is the ancient Asian practice of object arrangement and space planning designed to bring balance, harmony and well-being to your environment. Its purpose is to enhance prosperity, creative, health and romance. Feng Shui fortifies a home with positive energy known as chi. The attainment of positive chi is both an art and a blessing to those who manifest that chi. The word “feng” means wind and “shui” means water, each one associated with a good harvest and ultimate good health or good fortune.

If your love life needs a quick boost, you can use the art of placement to produce the romantic results you desire. Relationships need the proper environment to grow. They need the balance of the five elements, too much or too little will find the romance wither. Here are some Feng Shui tips to enhance your romantic space:

The first thing you must do is remove clutter out of your romance area (generally this is the bedroom). That means you must remove trash, dirty ashtrays, dead plants and nothing should be stored under the bed. Dust and cobwebs on the fans, walls, light fixtures and ceilings should be cleaned away.
Enhance your space with romance colors, such as shades of pinks, reds and whites. Guys, this does not mean it has to be feminine. You can use maroon, grayish tones of pinks and whites to achieve the same results. The key is to not use any one color so much that it overpowers the others. Other good colors include browns, beiges, lavenders, yellows and deeper shades of those are appropriate.
If you keep flowers in the room (an excellent way to attract romance into your life), make sure they are always fresh. At the first sign of wilting, toss them out. Silk flowers are an okay alternative, provided they are free of dust. Absolutely no dried flowers as they signify death. Also, make sure the roses are de-thorned. Nothing prickly such as cactus, unless your goal is to break-up.
In Feng Shui a Relationship Alter positively stimulates a relationship. Designate a special place in your romance area in which to put items that will encourage a healthy, loving relationship. Things to include in your relationship altar can include a heart shaped pink crystal quartz, a pair of candles, mandarin ducks.
Use the Pairs Principle to encourage love. That means two candles, two nightstands, two lights on top, two potted plants, two pillows, two chairs, etc. The Chinese symbol for love is Mandarin ducks. They signify love, romance, fidelity, affection, and loyalty in love.
Your bed should be placed in the commanding position of the room. This is to permit the widest possible vision. The door or entry to the room should be easily seen from the bed. And the head of the bed should be against a wall or against a corner. If you have nightstands, make sure one is on either side (a pair) and that the bed is accessible on three sides to attract and keep a partner. The bed should not be placed under a window.
The bedroom is for sleep and intimacy. No one should come into your room without your invitation. There should be no distractions such as workout equipment, a television, things that would remind you of work.
It is good to hang pink (heart-shaped) crystals and wind chimes in a sunny window to attract good love energy (yang).
Pictures of you as a child, your children or other relatives should also be removed from the bedroom or romance area. This space should be reserved for couples and should only display pictures of the two of you.
Dim lights will give the room a warm, inviting feeling. No harsh fluorescents or high wattage lighting, here.
While this is by no means the ultimate guide to Feng Shui for Romance, it is a good start. These ten tips will give your relationship area the boost it deserves and your romance the fulfillment it requires. Altar your space and you will altar your love life. If you want to know more about the ancient art of Feng Shui, there are many excellent resources listed below.

Recommended reading:

Feng Shui for Love & Romance by Richard Webster

Feng Shui DOS & Taboos for Love by Ana Ma Wong

The Complete Illustrated Guide to Feng Shui: How to Apply the Secrets of Chinese Wisdom for Health, Wealth and Happiness by Lillian Too

Build a Better Life Using Feng Shui: A Workbook and Guide for Applying Feng Shui in Your Environment by Debra Michie

About the author: © 2004 - Heidi Richards is the author of The PMS Principles, Powerful Marketing Strategies to Grow Your Business and 7 other books. She is also the Founder & CEO of the Women’s ECommerce Association, International www.WECAI.org (pronounced wee-kī) – an Internet organization that “Helps Women Do Business on the WEB.” She can be reached at www.HeidiRichards.com.

Adultery as Sexual Addiction

2009-04-15T21:44:00.000-07:00

Adultery as Sexual Addiction: Should You Stay Married?
by: Dr. Robert Huizenga

I outline 7 kinds of affairs in my E-book, "Break Free From the Affair." One affair, "I Can't Say NO!" is characterized by addictive tendencies. Infidelity (as well as pornography, strip clubs, online chatting, compulsive masturbation, etc.) may be a part of the sexual addiction.

Often the spouse or partner of a sexually addicted person intuitively knows of the addiction and the struggle his/her partner has with the behavior.

The partner often "feels for" his/her partner and is in a great quandary about staying in the marriage or leaving the marriage.

If you are a person facing this dilemma or know of someone who is, here are some pointed questions to help move more quickly through the decision making process:

1. Do you really want to save the marriage or are you just plain worn out? Does it seem that it would be much easier to just put up and tolerate the crazy kind of behavior you bump into with him? Are you emotionally fried and think of confronting him with your feelings and thoughts of ending the marriage as jumping into more emotional turmoil?

2. Do you really want to save the marriage or do you think you should hang in there for religious, moral or other “should” reasons? Most spouses who partner with those who can’t say no are very conscientious people. Is that you? Do you want to do the right thing? Are you willing to continue feeling the humiliation and facing the dangers because you believe you should stay in the marriage? Do convictions rather than practical and personal concerns dictate your decisions?

3. Do you really want to save the marriage or do you believe you should stay to protect the children? Do you think you are the only spouse who can care for the children? (You may be.) Or maybe your spouse cares deeply for the children and is a good parent. (That may be also.) Do you think that ending the marriage would make life immeasurably worse for your children? Do you fear for their welfare if you confront his behavior?

4. Do you really want to save the marriage or do you see absolutely no way out and are resigned to this marriage? You may experience a powerful pervasive feeling of being stuck. You may believe that you have tried everything and that it is in the best interest of everyone to stay where you are. Couple your weariness with your sense of being stuck and you may tolerate a great deal of disappointment and pain for the sake of the marriage.

5. Do you really want to save the marriage or do you see yourself as incapable of getting out? Your self-esteem may be at rock bottom. You may think of yourself as incapable of starting over, incapable of starting a new relationship, incapable of making the transition to a new life and incapable of making decisions on your own. It is not unusual for the spouse of someone who can’t say no to lose her sense of dignity and self-respect as he attempts to control, intimidate and dictate.

6. Do you really want to save the marriage or do you need to protect him? Do you see beyond what is there to him basic emptiness and fear? It’s there and you know it? Perhaps you fear what might happen to him if you do indeed leave? Will he be able to cope? What destructive path might he take next? So you hang in there, aware of his underlying pain and hope some day it will be addressed.

7. Do you really want to save the marriage or do you live in the fear that if you talk about leaving you will face danger? Perhaps you might face violence? You might face the emotional game playing at a new level of intensity? Does it seem wiser to hold back, not confront, not move toward change for fear of what he might say or do? Do you sometimes feel frozen with fear?

8. Do you really want to save the marriage or have you given no thought to how you might start over? This is a little different than the fear of starting over. Perhaps your life has been so wrapped around his or the care of your children that you have given little, if any, thought to you. Have you thought of your desires, your skills, your dreams, your hopes and your future apart from him? Or, apart from your children?

Take some time to seriously and thoughtfully address these questions. Once you do, you may experience a new found freedom to act and move in new ways.

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Dr. Robert Huizenga, The Infidelity Coach, has helped hundreds of couples over the past two decades heal from the agony of extramarital affairs and survive infidelity. Visit his website at: http://www.break-free-from-the-affair.com
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Online Dating Does Not Have To Be A Difficult Matter

2009-02-01T16:56:00.000-08:00

Online Dating Does Not Have To Be A Difficult Matter

By : Christy Jon

Despite all the good aspects of online dating, it also has a lot of negative implications that you need to be aware of. People tend to assume an identity that is false when they visit online dating websites. You need to be careful about whom you date online to avoid being taken for a ride.

Offline dating can be a product of months of intense online dating. Offline dating may start with the exchange of email addresses between you and your online date. Before you and your online date progress to offline dating, make sure that you are certain that your date works out and you both understand each other very well enough to have a relationship.

One of the things to take into consideration when you are dating online is the services offered by the online dating website. Online dating services come up with different features that are designed to make dating more fun and exciting. Examples of features that can make your online dating experience fun are the online chat rooms. As technology develops, online dating is becoming much more interesting and now brings members closer and more intimate.

Online dating is an excellent way for you to meet the perfect match. You can have fun chatting up different kinds of people through online dating services until you find that which seems just "right" for you. Many people have gotten married to their online dates and are enjoying a blissful relationship. Nothing says you can't too. Just give it the time and commitment and you will be surprised at what can come out of it.

Finding the best online dating service may be hard for you because of the thousands that are available. You can visit dating forums to get an idea of the best dating website on the internet. Dating review websites can also be an excellent source of the best online dating information for you.

Dating review sites can help you to level the extensive field of online dating services. There are dating review site that can give you a list of online dating websites that are bound to appeal to you. If you don't know where to start, go ahead and start with an online dating review website.

Dating online is simply an opportunity to meet different people. Don't expect to be impressed from the word go once you start dating online because there will be lots of people there who do not fit your requirements. To avoid getting disappointed with online dating, have realistic expectations.

The pace of dating in an online scene is dictated by you. You don't have to be under pressure in an online dating scene. In an online dating scene, you call the shots and decide what and who you want to date.

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7 Ways to Drive a Man Wild

2008-10-13T18:02:00.000-07:00

7 Ways to Drive a Man Wild
by: Caterina Christakos

It's unbelievable the amount of bad advice there is out there on how to seduce a man or if they give you advice they forget to tell you how to use it properly. So here are a couple of tips on what to do and what not to do to drive a man wild and an instruction manual.

1) Dress in a way that makes you feel sexy and also flatters your figure. Let's face it some of us look ridiculous in stilettos. Red is almost always a good color. Try a red slinky dress and comfortable undergarments. Those torture devices they sell to suck in our guts look great under the dress but are not sexy at all when you are trying to yank them off for a wild night of pleasure.

2) Pay attention to what he has to say for a change. Yes you can talk about yourself but a man finds it really refreshing when a woman allows him to have his own time in the spotlight.

3) Don't talk about your ex. If he asks, keep it short and sweet. You are starting fresh with this guy. No need to bring in the ghost of past relationships. You are perfect to him in the beginning. There is no reason to make him wonder if the last guy who dumped you was right.

4)Wear a light attractive scent. This means layering scents. Bathe in scented bath oils first. Then apply a light powder in the same scent. Finally spray the same scented perfume in front of you and walk into the mist. Do this about 45 minutes before you see him. If you overpower him with your scent, instead of wanting to edge a bit closer he will be running for the nearest exit.

5) If you bring him back to your place make sure it is dimly lit. Soft lighting minimizes lines and wrinkles and gives your skin a bit of a glow. Keep candles handy or lamps that have adjustable lighting. In soft lighting you can be his dream woman and you can feel a thousand times better about undressing in front of him.

6) Do a strip tease for him. Now I am not talking about a ten dollar hooker strip tease. I mean a slow undressing. Have him lie on the bed to watch, as you slowly slip out of your dress, then your undies and finally your stockings and shoes. Make him wait a bit.

7)Explore his body in detail. Consider it a five course meal. Drive him absolutely wild by discovering all the hidden spots he didn't even know existed. Most women just lie there and let the guy do all the work. Participate and you have just blown past most of the women he has had sex with.

About The Author:
Caterina is a published author and dating coach.
Learn even more seduction tips now. Go to: http://www.howtoseduceanyman.com

Do You Give Away Your Power?

2008-09-21T19:34:00.000-07:00

Do You Give Away Your Power?
by: William Martin
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Do You Give Away Your Power?
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When you love someone do you give your power away?

This may seem a strange question to ask and you may wonder what 'power' has to do with 'love'.

However, if we take a look we might see that love and power are very closely linked. This may not seem very romantic, but that does not mean it is not true.

We see another person as attractive depending on the level of 'personal power' that they hold. Things like good looks, money, success (however we define it), musical and artistic abilities, and the like all, can add to attractiveness - and 'attractiveness' is a form of personal power.

When we love someone it is natural to want to give to him or her. It is part of the fun of a relationship. Yet, if we try to give too much of ourselves before the other person is ready the chances are that they will run a mile...

Has anyone not experienced that kind of 'rejection'? I don't see any hands going up...It seems to be part of the human experience for everyone no matter what their status in life.

The problems start to arise when we place another person above ourselves. If we do that it can come across as if we feel that the other person is more important that we are.

"What is wrong with?" that you might wonder. "Isn't that how love is supposed to be?", you may ask.

Well, the problem with it is that it is not sustainable. The other person is looking for an equal not for more members of their 'fan club'. In order to have a meaningful relationship they need more from us than simply adding ourselves to their list of admirers. Sooner or later they will believe our own low assessment of ourselves.

The more we look up to someone the more we reduce own status in their eyes. Indeed, perhaps the more we look up to someone the more reason we give them to look down on us.

This does not mean that we cannot admire qualities and abilities in others. It just means we need to do it with a feeling of equality and not with a feeling like we are some kind unworthy creature admiring someone far better than we are.

Love is really something much bigger than us as individuals. In a sense, love is a process. How we love has to do with how we respond in that process. It may have little to do with the other person because we will respond the same way within that process with someone else.

If our response to love is to try and raise up the other person by lowering ourselves then that will be our experiences of the 'process' of love. We will experience being reduced and diminished when we love.

If our response to love is to raise ourselves up and the other person too - then that will be our experience of love. We will experience love as enlivening and enriching. Yes, we may still have our disappointments - but, overall it will raise us up and not diminish us.

We need to look at our response to the process of love and see it is different from the 'object' of our love. In that way we can find more skillful ways to express how we feel.

And, the expression of love is a skill. It is one of the highest of skills, but it is still a skill. It is something that needs to be learned - often through trial and error. There is not sense beating ourselves up when we make a mistake because it is just part of the process of learning the skill.

Part of the process is learning to feel good about ourselves as part of our own experience of relating to others. If we try and exclude ourselves from our own ability to love, that is what makes us want to sacrifice ourselves to the image we make of the other person. We have set ourselves up to lose if we do this as it makes a false god / goddess out of them.

Then we begin to look at the other person as if they are source of love in our life. Which is a dangerous thing to do to another fragile and quirky human being. It is dangerous as it is too much power to give another person - especially when it is someone we might hardly know at all (except that they are 'so wonderful'...).

We need to recognize the source of love in our lives. It is a deeper and wiser part of ourselves, which lives within us waiting recognition. That is our true source of personal power - and our true source of love.

Author: William Martin is the founder of http://www.meetyourgreens.com a totally free dating site.

Here Comes the Sun (Signs) - Romance, Astrology and You

2008-07-14T21:18:00.000-07:00

Here Comes the Sun (Signs) - Romance, Astrology and You
by: Heidi Richards

"Your sun sign can tell a lot about you as a lover. It can help you explore how you approach your romantic love interests." Heidi Richards Is it easy for you to get close to someone or do you take your time in developing meaningful relationships? What does your partner bring to your relationship that either helps it blossom or keeps it from going anywhere? Are you finding love elusive or does it come easy? How do you relate to those you are romantically attracted to? What kind of relationship are you looking for? What kind of partner are you seeking? While reading about your sun sign is not the entire answer to the age-old challenge of finding the right partner, it can be a start. Your sun-sign is only one aspect of your persona, what makes you, you. Your Rising and Moon also determine the life you were born to lead. Romance, Astrology and You will shed some light on sun signs and romance. Beyond that, you may wish to you seek professionals who can prepare your chart and give you a more in-depth personality/life reading.

The signs are divided into the four elements which represent them. They are the elements of Fire, Earth, Air and Water. This first page covers the Fire signs - Aries, Leo and Sagittarius. The Earth signs - Taurus, Virgo and Capricorn are on the next page, Air signs - Gemini, Libra and Aquarius, the next and the last page is dedicated to the Water signs – Cancer, Scorpio and Pisces.

Fire Signs

Fire signs represent enthusiasm and energy. The hallmark of fire is inspiration. With a joy for life, they can be ardent, forceful and have a tendency to be extremely impulsive.

ARIES - (March 22 - April 20). Aries is ruled by Mars, and its symbol is the Ram. Aries is a Fire sign, impulsive and energetic. You are bold and impatient, easily infatuated, and often lose interest if boredom sets in. You tend toward impulsive rather than cautious when it comes to matters of the heart, making your interest known (sometimes too quickly), and you tend to be very direct – shy is not a word to describe the impetuous Aries. You quickly bounce back from rejection, although it isn’t something you are use to, as you like to get your way. Quips and quarrels are often seen as foreplay with the direct Aries. You like the conquest in romance and can play "hard-to-get". You find it stimulating when the object of your affection plays the same game. However, in the long run you love to let yourself be caught, to be "swept away" with desire. You gravitate toward the confident, rather than those who appear needier. Aries loves to be caressed and told that you are the best.

LEO - (July 23 – August 22) Leo is ruled by the Sun and its symbol is the lion. As a Fire sign, Leo’s world revolves around the principles of identity and drama. You love to be the center of your partner’s adoration and attention. You tend to be flamboyant and melodramatic when it comes to matters of the heart. You crave attention and find ways to announce that you have arrived, whether it be with a look, the way you “waltz” into a room, the way you toss your head or even the way you walk up to someone and give them a gentle touch. You are a true romantic and have been known to write a poem or two. You have style, are generous and love to “surprise” the object of your affection with flowers and candy. In fact, surprises are second nature to you. You often sport an aristocratic air, even if you weren’t born into nobility. You love to be adored and admired and taking the lead in romance gives you a sense of power. You expect to be respected, and will act worthy of respect with one you desire. You know how to turn on the charm and raise the heat in a relationship. Leos love to be touched and admired.

SAGITTARIUS - (November 22 – December 21) Sagittarius is ruled by Jupiter and is symbolized by the archer. This Fire sign is connected with the identity. You crave variety, new ideas, and new experiences. In fact, you can be a little "excessive," which means you can over-do things a bit - or a lot. You love to explore new places, people and foods. Change is something you simply cannot live without. Routine is not a word that sits well with you and anyone romantically interested in the archer better be ready for adventure. You are a truth seeker, love to learn and your interests are eclectic and varied. You tend to embellish things a bit (almost to the point of exaggeration) especially when it comes someone who might be attracted to you. You want them to find you as interesting as you find life itself. You love your "space" and freedom and want your partner to feel the same. You find independence in others as sexy as it is second nature to you. Playful dates are a real turn-on for someone seeking a good-time. When it comes to love-interests, you want to be "friends first". Honesty is paramount to you and you expect it from those in your life, especially your mate. You can be philosophical one moment and class clown the next. You are very jovial and will seek a partner who makes you laugh. When it comes to spirituality, you consider yourself a guide along the long and winding road to self-discovery. And when in the learning mode, the Sagittarius will be a "seeker" or student to those who can teach or inspire you. Sagittarians are as turned-on by a stimulating conversation as they are by sensual exploration.

Earth signs are physical and have to do with primarily material affairs. They are natural and their feet tend to be firmly planted on the ground, "earthy" types. The hallmark of earth signs is practicality. TAURUS - (April 21 – May 21) Taurus is ruled by Venus and its symbol is the bull. Taurus is an Earth sign which is connected with fruitfulness and stability. You love luxury and sensual comforts such as silky satin sheets, robes fit for a king or queen and beautiful surroundings. You seek comfort, security and beauty. A perfect romance to you is one that is harmonious and beautiful, even if a bit materialistic. Because of your fondness for pretty things, you will proudly display your possessions and purchasing power. You are easygoing, calm, and comfortable to be around. You enjoy sharing "quiet times" with your love interest and also get excited about everyday activities such as shopping and cooking and dining. You tend to be stubborn and will do whatever you can to get what you want. When it comes to showering affection on the object of your desire, you enjoy physical contact. You have a very sensual nature and appreciate the pleasures of food, art, music, perfumes, fondling, or sex. Because you appreciate nature; a walk in the woods, hiking and rock-climbing may be considered exciting dates. You also love sunsets camping, gardening and simply being outdoors and can be attracted to those who are equally down-to-earth and outdoorsy. As long as your partner or mate displays the qualities of loyalty and honesty qualities which you likely possess, they will have your undying loyalty and a relationship destined to endure.

VIRGO - (August 23 - September 22) Virgo is ruled by Mercury and is symbolized by the Virgin. As an Earth sign, Virgo is connected with material things and practicality. The ultimate organizer, you gravitate toward anything that puts your analytical mind to use. To the outside world you may appear reserved and tend to hold back your emotions, when it comes to love, it’s no holds barred for the loving Virgo. You display great attention to detail which can be considered good fortune or a curse when it comes to relationships. You are good at remembering your partner’s desires (even those that were only mentioned in passing) and love to cater to those desires. To you, organizing the object of your affections is considered “flirting.” Your favorite role is to be of help and service to friends and partners. You are witty, perceptive and logical. Your reasoning powers help you to resolve conflicts easily and quickly taking your romance to new depths. You need a partner who will help you loosen your cautious shy nature. You are a good listener and communicator, an important aspect in romance. You love to “fuss” over your partner and can sometimes be seen as critical. Your partner should know though, that if you were not interested, you would not work so hard to help your love interest be “all he or she can be.” Good health is of great concern to you and you work hard to take care of yourself. You aim to please and when it comes to love you fall hard. Virgos are most attracted to those who keep themselves physically fit.

Capricorn – (December 22 - January 20) Capricorn is ruled by Saturn and is symbolized by the sea goat. As an Earth sign, Capricorn is motivated, determined and sets practical goals. Taking unnecessary risks is not your “thing,” even in the area of romance. You are ambitious and responsible. You will, however do “whatever it takes” to get what you want. Social status, reputation, position, and career are important to you. You use these to impress and attract the object of your desires. When it comes to love, no silly games for you, you prefer a more mature approach to courtship. Glamour and dazzle are more your style – so an evening that starts out in a limousine would be perfect. You are supportive and dependable, good qualities in any relationship. Security, a good home, and the finer things in life are what you strive for. You do not shy away from commitment, as long as it is with the right person – in fact you "play for keeps" and will be forever faithful. Some might consider you a loner, but do not be fooled by the aloof Capricorn. You are longing for a deep, meaningful relationship with just the right partner. Capricorns can be as powerful in the bedroom as they are in the boardroom, so lovers beware. You are seen by your peers as a “winner” and often attract the same. When it comes to romantic adventures, you are both practical and romantic so a perfect getaway for you could include both work and play.

Air signs have a great deal to do with relationships and intellect and are gatherer knowledge using their intuition and the head. They are known for getting what they desire and achieving their goals. Their hallmark is making a difference in the world, whether it be in their own circle of influence or something much larger.

Gemini - (May 22 – June 21) Gemini is ruled by the planet Mercury and is symbolized by the Twins. An Air sign, Gemini is connected with communication. You have a way with words. You're good at flirting and teasing, and can be a real sweet talker. Because of your “twins” influence you are clever at adapting your style to suit the seduction. You can be witty and clever and easily are attracted to good conversationalists. You love the power of suggestion and using double entendres. In fact, you use them proficiently when you are flirting with others, whether they be romantic interests or just passing fancies. You adapt easily to most situations and love to share stores of people, places and experiences, which you skillfully use to arouse the interest of one you desire. Because you are so tuned into communicating, you can see both sides of a situation. You know there are always at least three sides to every conflict. The sides of each party involved and the truth; which you have a knack for discovering. You can be a prolific writer. Love letters, poetry and notes are easily used to seduce the object of your affection. And mind games are beyond your realm of romantic antics. Internet chat rooms and forums stir your interest. Who knows, you may even find your future mate online. You have been known to give “good phone,” and enjoy long conversations that revolve around romance and sexual innuendos. Flirting is second nature to you and you are almost shameless when it comes to practicing your flirting style. Because of their sometimes short attention span, Gemini lovers are more likely stay around if they feel mentally stimulated.

Libra - Romantic. (September 23 – October 23) Libra is ruled by Venus. An Air sign, Libra is connected with social relationships and its symbol are the scales. Known as a diplomat to those closest to you, you have an incredible sense of objectivity and seek harmony and balance in relationships and life. Happiest when you are in love, you can be sweet and sensitive. You love talking about things relating to love and romance such as novels, movies or songs. It is your way of flirting with the object of your desires. You are a charming, gracious and considerate lover and can adapt your style to attract the one you desire. In fact, you like to be partners in most aspects of life and will find ways of including those you love and admire in your plans, whether it be at work, home or play. Although crowds of people don’t seem to bother you, you prefer spending time with your love interest alone rather than in a group setting. You may start out at a big gala affair, but will look for an appropriate time to get away so the two of you can spend time alone together. You are a thoughtful partner and lover and give your full attention to your mate. Giving your undivided attention is your way of flirting. You have a keen interest in others and can lend an ear or a shoulder to cry on. You love courting and or being courted by the object of your affection. Hearts and flowers go a long way in the romance arena of your life. Librans do not like to be manipulated, fair play is an absolute must.

Aquarius - (January 21 – February 21) Aquarius is ruled by Uranus. An Air sign, Aquarius is very social, and is symbolized by the water bearer. An inventor at heart, you can be seen by others as a little “quirky,” often gravitating toward the future and progress of humankind. You are considered a visionary and open-minded looking for less conventional ways of being and doing than the other signs. You don’t generally break down under peer pressure; you prefer to be different from others. You are highly liked and surrounded by friends because you know how to be one. A humanitarian, you long for social reform and prefer those who share your thoughts on life over those who easily conform to societal pressures. You tend to be more attracted to the outrageous than one who looks and act like everyone else. You are sometimes thought of as a “rebel with a cause” and will be attracted to a partner who you shares your desire to change the world. You are a free spirit who needs his or her own space, but don’t mind sharing that space with the object of your affection, as long as you don’t get pushed into a corner. You enjoy sharing your vision of the future with the one you desire and consider it your way of flirting. Sometimes you appear aloof or unemotional, which can be a turn-off for some. Not to worry, the right person will find it attractive and be curious to know what lies beneath that detached exterior. It seems an odd way to "flirt", but it can be attractive to those who are curious and have a similar demeanor. It is the game of “intrigue” that can often turn someone on and make them want to know more. The Aquarius is a creative and imaginative in lover and will often seduce the object of their desire in unusual ways (and places).

Water signs are reflective, responsive and whose nature is toward abundance, sometimes excess. Their hallmark is their emotional, expressive nature. Cancer – Caring - (June 22 – July 22) Cancer is ruled by the Moon and its symbol is the crab. It is a Water sign, and as such is connected to the world of emotion and the instincts. People react in a positive way to your sensitive intuitive nature. If it’s a love interest you are after, you instinctively know how to get the attention you desire. Because you are a good friend and confidante, people have a tendency to confess their sins to you. When it comes to flirting you prefer a more demure or reserved approach to one that is overt. You are a caring, nurturing lover and enjoy cuddling and hand-holding. You may seduce the object of your desire with a home-cooked meal of fare that is fit for a king or queen. You tend to fuss over the object of your affections, a clear indication that you are interested in pursuing the relationship further. Pampering and affection are your signatures in romance. You are also very protective of your love interests (all relationships for that matter) and will go to the ends of the earth to make those in your life feel safe and secure. Family is important to you and you enjoy sharing family traditions as well as starting those of your own creation. For you, home is where the heart is. A Cancerean in full courtship mode will invite their love interest to meet the family. You make those you love feel like the center of the universe.

Scorpio - (October 24 – November 21) Scorpio is ruled by the planet Mars and is symbolized by the scorpion. As a Water sign it is connected with the world of emotions. You can be intently focused, even absorbed on the object of your desire. You are send by others as sultry, emotional and even a "dangerous". Your passionate nature can smolder for days, weeks and even months and then it all of the sudden erupts into a volcanic fire that is almost impossible to contain. You have a sexy animal magnetism" that can subtly seduces the object of your desires. There is a mesmerizing way about you; when you look into the eyes of your love it is as though you are looking deep into their soul. You are a born detective and will go to almost any lengths to find out about someone to whom you have an interest in. You are intense and emotionally perceptive. When hurt, you don’t mend easily and don’t forgive quickly (if ever). You know how to channel your energy and power into exploring your lover’s sexuality. You are intuitive and inquisitive; there are no secrets you won’t discover. However, your nature is such that you may keep a few secrets of your own. Ever resourceful and self-confident, you know what’s best for you and think you know what’s best for others. Sex with a Scorpio is anything but subtle, it is full of energy, daring and can even involve some risk taking. You are looking for a fearless lover, one willing to create a romance that will unleash your passions.

Pisces - (February 22 – March 21) Pisces is ruled by the planet Neptune , and its symbol is two fish bound together. Pisces is a water sign, emotional and compassionate. You have an air of mystery and love a good secret. You love affairs of the heart and could become involved in a love tryst or steamy affair. You can be shy or coy, and your sensitive side and air of vulnerability can and will often work to your advantage to attract the object of your desires. You love romance and fantasy and sometimes have a hard time separating the two. You are able to share your deepest feelings with the one you love and often connect on a soul level. It is said the eyes are the window to the soul and you often find yourself flirting with your eyes. Pisces men are often seen as gallant (opening doors, and offering a hand) and both sexes can be self-sacrificing often putting the needs of their lover ahead of their own. You tend to daydream and often have your head in the clouds. You would rather go with the flow than ruffle feathers. You love to serve your lover and shower him or her with delightful fantasies. You have a spiritual nature, and are very creative. When it comes to romance, you can be unpredictable and truly enjoy the game of love, although you will pursue the object of your affection with slow, careful intent.

About the author: © 2004 - Heidi Richards is the author of The PMS Principles, Powerful Marketing Strategies to Grow Your Business and 7 other books. She is also the Founder & CEO of the Women’s ECommerce Association, International www.WECAI.org (pronounced wee-kī) – an Internet organization that “Helps Women Do Business on the WEB.” She can be reached at www.HeidiRichards.com.

Decorate your bedroom for romance!

2008-06-13T06:38:00.000-07:00

Decorate your bedroom for romance!
by: Pat bowlin

Want to spice up your bedroom to let some romance in?

Decorating your bedroom for romance doesn't even have to be difficult or expensive. You can really let your creativity run wild here.

The most important thing to keep in mind is that you want to soothe all of the senses to both take away other distractions and relax completely. This should be your oasis, your refuge to reconnect and enjoy your partner's company.

A great place to start is lighting. Get rid of the glare, and you're well on the way to more romance!

Candles, candles and more candles can bring a lot of romance into the bedroom for a pretty small investment. Candles, both large and small, tapered, pillar or votives all generate a warm, inviting, flickering light to the room. Group them together in several areas of the room for the best effect.

Adding a dimmer switch to lighting can also be quite effective in designing bedrooms for romance- and cost very little as long as you can install it yourself. It isn't as difficult as you might think!

Placing mirrors to reflect your softened light will add more depth to your bedroom.

Window dressings that are plush and appealing should darken the room and prevent lights from traffic or other external noise from interrupting the romantic mood you are creating. The window treatment can match or contrast the bedding and often can be found as an accessory to the bedding set you select. Draperies that billow and flow can add a touch of romance to the bedroom as well.

The bed, of course, is the focal point of the bedroom in most cases, and the bedding you select for romance can set just the perfect mood.

Many people think of silk and satin when thinking of romantic bedding. Both silk and satin can be costly and a bit slippery on the bed. The good news is that the same luxurious effect and feel can be created with 100% cotton sateen sheets if you don't want the added expense of genuine satin or silk linens.

Choose bedding for your romantic bedroom that centers on relaxing, romantic colors. Avoid using too much grey, yellow or pink. Red, black, white, blue and green is very popular. Newer colors like pearl, bronze and even gold can really create the feeling of luxury and are quite romantic.

Remember that all of your senses should be involved for the perfect touch of romance- so adding interesting texture for bedding can be another opportunity to bring out romance. Velvet, faux fur and velour are rich, soft to the touch fabrics that can be used for comforters, blankets and throw pillows.

Peacock Alley is one of the most well-known luxury bedding maker.

They offer an especially warm, romantic bed linen set called the Marrakech Ebony. It features shades of green, gold and ebony in prints reminiscent of the African plains and looks especially romantic when highlighted by candlelight. 55% linen and 45% rayon create luxurious sheets which are easy to care for.

The Vienna Ensemble from Peacock Alley is 100% Egyptian cotton in white on white featuring eyelet lace. Euro sham, coverlet, boudoir pillows add wonderful interesting detail to the bedding which brings back the romantic 1800s.

And if you'd prefer to keep your expenses down abit, then you could go for the shabby chic approach, which means focusing on your own sense of style, mixing just about any romantic touches into the bedroom- as long as the overall result is soothing and relaxing. You don't have to follow anyone else's idea of romance. Just be creative!

If you really want to go all out, you could add a canopy to your bed. You can easily create the same effect of a canopy bed with about 10 yards of material like linen, silk or satin and four hooks placed in the ceiling. Simply drape the cloth so that it billows and flows to just above the bed linens. This touch will enhance any spacious bedroom and can provide a bedroom with low ceilings a more spacious feel.

Finish your new romantic bedroom with abit of soft music, maybe some potpourri and some fine chocolates and champagne, and there you have it!

You can live in a bedroom that surrounds you with romance every night if you wish. Simply bring together your own creation of romantic touches and enjoy.

About The Author

Patricia Bowlin informs and entertains you as you shop for your home bedding! Find out everything you need to know about chosing the perfect blankets, pillows, bed linens, comforters, and other bedding here now.

This article is free for republishing

Does Marriage Counseling Work?

2008-05-21T19:55:00.000-07:00

Does Marriage Counseling Work?
by: shelly phegley

When considering marriage counseling, it's difficult not to wonder whether seeing a marriage counselor will actually work. This article provides some objective information based on data obtained from a national survey of marriage and family counselors and their clients. Also presented are several interesting opinions provided by individuals who have actually been through marriage counseling and were asked to comment on whether or not seeing a marriage counselor proved effective in helping their relationship.

An honest marriage counselor would agree that the motivation of a couple may be the single most important factor in determining the success of marriage counseling. It's unlikely that even a brilliant counselor would be able to save a marriage where one spouse has already decided upon a divorce, and a mediocre marriage counselor can probably help a couple who are utterly committed towards making their marriage work. With this in mind, research has been made in an effort to determine, on a more scientific level, the effectiveness of couples counseling.

In an article published by Journal of Marital and Family Therapy, clients of marriage and family counselors from 15 different states reported on their experience with counseling. The findings indicated that marriage and family counselors treated a wide range of issues in relatively short-term fashion, couple and family therapy are briefer than individual therapy, and that client satisfaction and functional improvement are quite high.

[*] Specifically, of clients from 526 marriage and family counselors in 15 different states:

98.1% rated services good or excellent
97.1% got the kind of help they desired
91.2% were satisfied with the amount of help they received
93% said they were helped in dealing more effectively with problems
94.3% would return to the same therapist in the future
96.9% would recommend their therapist to a friend
97.4% were generally satisfied with the service they received
63.4% reported improved physical health
54.8% reported improvement in functioning at work
73.7% indicated improvement in children’s behavior
58.7% showed improvement in children’s school performance
[*] Excerpted from "Clinical Practice Patterns of Marriage and Family Therapists: A National Survey of Therapists and Their Clients", Journal of Marital and Family Therapy--Volume 22, No. 1

While the above study provides raw data that supports the effectiveness of marriage and family counseling, a very interesting discussion on the question "Does Couples Counseling Work" from a public forum devoted to this topic offers a less clinical, but still positive view. Based on what seems to be a very honest and frank discussion among couples "who've been there," the answer to the question of whether or not marriage counseling is effective is a positive one. Read these posts on the Berkley Parents Network.

Regardless of the studies and opinions which seem to support the effectiveness of marriage / couples counseling, there are those who question it's effectiveness. An article on the about.com portal, had this to say:

The science of marital counseling is being studied in great detail these days. Research is showing that it is not as effective as people think, that women seem to get more from it than men, and that it might not have a lasting effect on the couple's marriage.

What type of couple gets the most from couple therapy? The answer is young, non-sexist, still in love, open couples.

Which couples receive the least from therapy? Some factors that can make couple therapy unsuccessful include couples who wait too long before seeking help, and often one or the other is set on getting a divorce and is closed to any suggestions that may save the marriage.

Excerpted from the marriage.about.com portal

Unfortunately, the data supporting the above-mentioned research is not specifically cited in the article. The article seems to imply that couples who seek counseling because they want their relationship to work are more likely to succeed with marriage counseling than are those who enter into counseling with the (perhaps hidden) truth that they already want out.

This article is free for republishing
Shelly Phegley is a staff writer at The National Directory of Family and Marriage Counseling View profiles of family and marriage counselors nationwide. Articles & resources to help couples and families locate and evaluate a couple’s counselor.

The Key to Great Romantic Relationships

2008-05-09T02:07:00.000-07:00

The Key to Great Romantic Relationships

I’ve been engaged 3 times - only married once. The first time was to my high school sweetheart - a few short weeks before the ceremony - right before his college graduation - he broke my heart. He left me for another man. Uh-huh, you heard that right. Suffice it to say, we made our way back to each other six years later and have maintained a platonic friendship for many years (we send birthday and holiday cards to each other).

The second time was a rebound off of the previous situation - what was I thinking???

This time there was a wedding - and just as I was about to divorce the guy 2 years later, I found out that my marriage wasn’t legal to begin with - so I got an anullment for sixty bucks.

I spent the next 10 years of my life dating a few guys but I never felt empowered in my relationships with them. Right before I moved out west, I was dating a guy who was 20 years older than myself. One Sunday afternoon, he sat me on his knee (like a daughter) and gave me the talk that I wish my own father had given me around age 14 or so. He taught me what I needed to know about how men think and how to maintain my own standards and self-esteem regarding dating relationships. (By the way, he’s a published author on relationships).

Let me tell you, my whole world changed after that afternoon. I learned that I now had the key to attract the types of relationships I desire - be they of a personal or of a business nature. No longer did I feel like a victim of romantic circumstances! I felt like a caterpillar who had just metamorphed into a monarch butterfly. To this day, when I remember to follow this advice, things always turn out great.

So, what I share in my book, Love & Diamonds In 90 Days (www.TheLovePlaybook.com) is what I learned about harnessing my own power as a woman - especially as it relates to relationships. And, I show single women how to do the same thing for themselves. Many of my readers have applied this method to their lives and succeeded beyond their dreams!

When you truly understand and apply this key to great relationships, the world will treat YOU right.
Author Info:
Holly Stabin created a method for single women to safely and sanely use online and offline personal ads in her book, Love & Diamonds In 90 Days. Mrs. Stabin lives in Arizona with her husband of 14 years.

Women and Friendship

2008-03-15T07:13:00.000-07:00

Women and Friendship; is it as good or better than Chocolate?
by: Tina Frazer

I’ll start this article by admitting that I am a full-blown “chocoholic.” I love the way eating a piece of chocolate makes me feel. It’s so indulging, satisfying, and to me is the ultimate reward or excuse to instantly lift my spirits, calm my nerves, and just make me happy. This lead me to thinking about how few things in life are as good or better than chocolate.

Now, I would certainly have to rank being a Mom at the top of the list, but another big contender is Friendship. I think it is truly disappointing that we as women allow something as rewarding and bittersweet as friendship, to regularly take a back seat to our careers, husbands, children and busy demands of life. When you compare eating a piece of chocolate to spending time with friends, you will find a lot of commonalities…

Friendship and Chocolate are both actually healthy for us.
Friendship and Chocolate both make us feel good.
Friendship and Chocolate can be addictive and both make us eager for more.

Did you know that researchers and scientists have suggested that chocolate contains compounds that can help maintain a healthy heart, good circulation, and reduce blood clotting? And, a Nurses study at Harvard Medical school found that women with friends were less likely to develop physical impairments as they aged.

I know for me personally, whether it’s a few minutes on the phone, a nice e-mail shared, lunch/dinner, or movie time spent with a friend, I am left feeling refreshed, happy, and ready to sing, “I feel like a Woman!” While I truly love being a Mom, I need friend time for me (even though half of it may be spent talking about the children anyway). It just feels great to spend time with my girlfriends to gab about everything under the sun, including love, relationships, finances, parenting, - and occasionally important topics like Brad Pitt!

Have you every noticed that when you do finally take the time to make that phone call to your friend, send that e-mail, or arrange that dinner or movie date, that you feel so good you automatically start planning for the next chat or get together. We do this because this needed interaction with our female friends just leaves us eager for more. This “feel good” addiction is similar to why we automatically eat more than one piece of chocolate in the box (and admit it, we rarely stop at just one).

I may be disqualified to judge what is truly better, friendships between women; or chocolate, since I admittedly confessed to being a “chocoholic”. After all, some of you reading this article may not even like chocolate. In my opinion they are both equally fabulous. However, I do want to say if ever you needed to slow down, and purposely make time for something in your life amongst your daily juggling of activities, then please do so for friendships. Finding “friendship” time needs to be a priority even if it is once a week or once a month, to catch up with old friends and to make new ones. It’s healthy, it makes you feel good, and you (we) deserve more of it.

Cheers to a happy, healthy, life shared with many great friends and of course a bit of chocolate!

This article is free for republishing
Tina Frazer is the founder of Let’s Be Friends.net, a friendship website exclusively for women. Let’s Be friends.net promotes and encourages new friendships among women. Meet and make new friends online who share your lifestyle, interests, or values. Perfect for stay-at-home Moms, Working Mothers, empty nesters, young, young at heart and those new to town. Membership available to women 18 and older at http://www.letsbefriends.net

Sign of Affair: I Fell Out of Love...and just love being in love

2008-03-06T06:45:00.000-08:00

Sign of Affair: I Fell Out of Love...and just love being in love
by: Dr. Robert Huizenga

If there is one front-and-forward excuse for infidelity it is: " I fell out of love."

This usually means: I no longer feel sexually attracted to you (I'm sexually attracted to someone else, for now, at least.) Or, I need to spice my life with giddy emotional highs and intrigue every so often.

Infidelity has different faces...and different signs and patterns.

Did you know there are 7 different kinds of affairs? Well, there may be more, but after a couple decades of clinical work and research, I've identified 7.

And, if you look carefully, you will find that each form of infidelity carries different signs and markers. Know those specific signs of infidelity and you can save yourself much grief.

One kind of affair I write about in my E-book is called, "I Fell out of Love...and just love being in love."

Here are some signs and patterns you can expect in this kind of affair:

1. Hang on to your seat. This may be some ride, much like a thrill ride at an amusement park. There will likely be many ups and downs, spiced with dramatic flair. Watching your spouse go through his gyrations may leave you somewhat dizzy. He will give his all to this new-found "love" and at other times might find his way back to you.

2. Typically you will struggle with being ignored and feeling rather awful that you can't provide the "love" this other person seems to provide. You might find yourself questioning your capacity to "love" and your desirability. His affections will obviously be centered on that other person.

3. He may want to tell you about this other person. Not only might he want you to know about the other person he may desire to share with you some of the details of this relationship. He might want you involved. This creates an intense triangle that juices the drama. (Most classical love stories are dramas, complete with a triangle; he "falls in love" with the forbidden or unattainable princess. Often the drama ends as a tragedy - Romeo and Juliet.)

4. Expect some juvenile behavior such as love letters (e-mail), special names, special promises, secrets only for the two of them, etc. Some of these affair relationships are the result of unfinished business from adolescence. Perhaps he was responsible for family or beset by some trauma or internally or externally imposed injunctions that precluded him from dating, socializing with the opposite sex, and "falling in and out of love" a number of times, which is so important and vital for adolescent development.

5. You may hear the persistent phrase, "I love you, but I'm not in love with you." He may truly "like you" and depend on your stability, goodness and understanding. The thought of losing that may keep him connected with you. His fear of losing that which is stable and enduring may conflict with his need to follow his feelings. As well, the possibility of loss may point to the internal emptiness that stirs up very uncomfortable feelings and thoughts. This is part of the roller coaster ride.

6. He may feel very badly about his "inability" to love you and his "inability" not to love the other person. He may express great remorse for the dilemma. He may profess deep sadness for "hurting" you - but, as you know, he has no control. His feelings drive him. His "concern" for you indicates his superficial understanding of relationships. Or, his "concern" for you may be a manipulative attempt to find an easier exit from the marriage.

7. Expect his feelings for the other person to fade. They will fade quickly if this is a pure "I've fallen out of love (and just love being in love)" affair. The "romance" of adolescent love affairs start quickly and end as abruptly. If, however, other issues come into play, such as, resentment and/or the inability to say no, you have a more complicated situation that takes longer to resolve.

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Dr. Robert Huizenga, The Infidelity Coach, has helped hundreds of couples over the past two decades heal from the agony of extramarital affairs and survive infidelity. Visit his website at: http://www.break-free-from-the-affair.com
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Recovering from Romantic Fantasy

2008-03-01T08:46:00.001-08:00

Recovering from Romantic Fantasy
by: James Sniechowski

Chances are you never thought you needed to be rescued from romance. In fact, you probably feel you need more romance in your life, not less. The truth is that most hearts are broken in the painful difference between the possibility of real romance and the insistence on the fantasy of romance -- with the real thing taking the loss.

Recovering from romantic fantasy is based on your willingness to accept who you and your partner are -- without deceit, without drama, without all of the false puffery so many of us put around our images of love, relationship and intimacy. Recovering from romantic fantasy does not mean living without it. It means you will have, perhaps for the first time in your life, the chance to experience reality-based romance that is meaningful, fulfilling, passionate and can actually help create a relationship you can trust and delight in. This kind of romance -- real romance -- can fill your soul with the feeling and knowledge that you are loved for who you are, just as you are, and it can inspire you to love deeply and fully in return.

What can you expect should you decide to recover from swept-away romantic fantasy? Here's an example.

Judith: One evening, we bought a special pie for a friend, to thank him for a favor he'd done for us. It was a strawberry-banana cream pie with a collar of sculpted whip cream around
the top. Careful not to tip it, Jim set it on the floor of the car behind the driver's seat and we made our way home.

The day had been particularly difficult for Jim, and he was feeling raw and vulnerable. When we got home, he picked up the pie and the box caught on the edge of the seat, tumbled over and landed top down. It was that kind of day. He looked to me and timidly said, "Maybe it'll
be okay." He opened the box and the pie, of course, was demolished, more like strawberry-banana-cream porridge. Jim slumped.

I was angry that the pie had fallen and shocked when Jim announced it might have survived intact. I knew better. How could he not have? But, more importantly, I knew Jim was
suffering. I understood what he was going through. So, I put my arm around him and told him, "It's a mess, isn't it? I'm so sorry..... Let's get another one later."

It was a moment of real romance that left both of us feeling whole and human, compassionate and connected, loved and loving. In contrast to the grandiosity of romantic fantasy, we were just in our garage with a fallen pie, and yet we both experienced a sense of grace and beauty and a special bond of intimacy.

Can you picture yourself sitting around dreaming up a romantic fantasy where a dropped pie leads to heartfelt love? Most people, being honest, would have to say, "No." That's just not how romance is thought of in our culture. Besides, romantic fantasy always ends up being punitive. It is contemptuous of "fallen pies." It's dismissive of human imperfection, derisive of anything that doesn't reach the lofty heights of romantic bliss.

Real romance comes from beyond what you already know. It's spontaneous, unrehearsed and open-hearted. It's about what's happening in the moment, about the attention and affection between two people.

When you're open to the heightened awareness of real romance, a vivid, even ecstatic experience can spring from any unexpected moment. If you try to hold onto it, you cancel your invitation for life to catch you off guard and take you into the deepest places of your heart and soul.

(Excerpted from The New Intimacy, Health Communications Inc.)

About The Author:

Judith Sherven and James Sniechowski share the secret of life-long romance. Be sure to get your copy of their Free 1 hour teleseminar "Keeping Romance Alive," and find out how. Just go to: http://www.judithandjim.com

Here Comes the Sun (Signs) - Romance, Astrology and You

2008-02-25T07:03:00.000-08:00

Decorate your bedroom for romance!

2008-02-18T06:47:00.000-08:00

Overcoming the Fears of Divorce

2008-02-08T03:16:00.000-08:00

Overcoming the Fears of Divorce
by: Harlan Jacobsen

The new fears surfacing during and as a result of your divorce process become a heavy wave of fear and add much more despair to an already overloaded period in your life.

Fear is a major factor in the stress and moving on from your divorce.

Fear of the unknown.

Probably more "unknowns" hanging over your head, than any other time in your life.

What catastrophe happens to me next?

You will need to learn how to handle these fears that seem to come along with the divorce process..

If you do not learn how to confront and control these fears of divorce, you risk losing your emotional and physical health and the joy of living.

Fear has been with you forever, and has all along the way touched every aspect of your life.
Here are some examples of fears to help jog your memory...failure, the future, financial insecurity, rejection, injury, success, height, water, fire, flying, germs, relationships or lack of, death, sex, or lack of, war, losing something, not getting something, getting caught for wrongdoings, crowds, public speaking, relapsing, being wrong, the opposite sex, the same sex, the unknown, health problems, any phobias , etc.

This heightened state of fear during the divorce process, may derive from a self-centered fear that as a result of our divorce that we will lose something that we already have or not ever again be able to get something that we want or need.

Get these fears out in the open by submitting them to paper and take a good look at them.

Write down each fear that you have experienced as a result of and a part of the divorce process experience.

Doing this exercise on paper is an important part of the step to move on that we are explaining here.
To cheat and not do the "on paper" exercise is to cheat no one but yourself and your moving on to a new life.

Use descriptive words to cover both the feelings and beliefs underlying your newly acquired divorce fears.

You will then be able to talk more honestly and openly about your fears with someone who cares, whether it is a professional or a friend.

Your divorce induced fears are one of the parts of your divorce that need to be and can be talked out.

Writing it down and seeing them in black and white will help you focus your thoughts as you face your fears.

Once you have your thoughts, feelings, and beliefs all written out in front of you, this will allow you to be more objective with what is going on with your fears.

These fears restricting us from doing what should be done, or causing us to do what should be avoided, can set in motion chains of circumstances which can add significantly to divorce woes.

These predictable fears can add additional misfortunes that we do not need or deserve.

Is it possible that you have developed some of these new fears because you have relied on yourself and you now see yourself as having failed ?

Is this apparent lack of power and feeling your life has gotten out of control, affect your circumstances and your present dilemma?

In the divorce process, particularly if in a legal adversarial battle with two attorneys. life seems much of the time to have almost completely gotten out of your control.

Fear of all the bad outcome possibilities and then not knowing what will happen next is bad enough.

It is devastating to discover that it now appears, no matter what you do or how much effort you expend, you will have no control whatsoever of the out come.

Financial insecurity, is perhaps the biggest fear and stress of divorce. Perhaps the money was not enough to go around when you were both supporting one household.

Now, with divorce, that same income is now going to have to be stretched to support two households.

Certainly someone's standard of living is going to have to be drastically lowered and likely both.

How bad is it going to be, how can you survive?
Are you going to lose your home?

Fear piles in of what all you might lose.

Next most common fear is rejection, I was rejected by my spouse who knew me better then anyone in the world.

Result, now my fear is that no one will ever love me again..........

Afraid of never getting involved in a relationship again, or lack of ever having sex again, fear of not ever finding companionship again, fear of being wrong, fear of the opposite sex, fear of the unknown, what lies ahead. etc etc

Fears not only cause stress, they can eat away at your body, mind and emotions.

Your spirit gets lost in the waves of emotions: anger, frustration and the loss of all joy and hope.

The new fears surfacing as your divorce progresses, bring on a new wave of despair.

Fear of the unknown or what catastrophe happens next is the great problem with the divorce process.

If is perfectly normal to be uncomfortable with anything new or unknown, and becomes a fear when the unknown can include losses.

To overcome these fears, simply become informed and knowledgeable about all things in your divorce, that lie ahead.

When you know all about it, it no longer is a fear. Read up on and become informed, on this web site and associated links..

We have spent years putting together what you need to know to survive divorce and to move on to a second chance to get on with a great new life.

You need not be afraid of and/or powerless, when it comes to what you know how to handle.

You have no experience and little or no knowledge about what you are going thru. It is natural to have fears about what you know nothing about.

Others have gone thru it and left you the information you need to know, so go thru this process, totally informed and knowledgeable.

If you remain ignorant about it and afraid, it is in a large part because you simply have not done your home work.

It is very important to learn how to handle your fears, get them under your control, to get thru your divorce recovery process.

The uncertainty of your new roles, all on your own, perhaps feeling for the first time in your life, not having someone around as a baby sitter.
For the first time the almost complete isolation you face and the lack of the unknown, together all stress you out far more than when you had been going through your daily life before divorce. .

With the onset of the split, often fears started to run wild.

You will eventually come to realize you do not have control over events or other people.

However, you do have total control over your response to events and to people..

This is where we begin to wage our battle with fear

Yes, the only control you have is over yourself.

Perhaps for the first time you are now totally in charge and control of your own life.

You alone have all responsibility for you. That is indeed scary.

Can you handle it?

It is now your choice on how you will choose to live it.

Choose now how you will obtain the necessary tools, knowledge and assistance to live your life with more happiness, more joy and more love then you have ever experienced before.

You must do something about these needless fears immediately if you find yourself being overwhelmed and experiencing fear.

Consider fear as the enemy.

Visualize your mind as a house. When you leave the doors and windows open, these fears rush in and take over.

Close your mental windows and doors and lock them out, and they will soon go away.

Whatever you fear most has no power - it is your fear that has the power.
Oprah Winfrey

Here are some additional suggestions:

Most of your fears are mere shadows.

Do whatever you need to cover and do to take normal precautions from what you fear. in a relaxed and healthy manner..

Say to yourself, " My new life is not controlled by fear".

Fear is like a bully that tries to intimidate you, the more it affects you, the more it comes on to you.

When and if the bully finds out you lock it out and ignore it, the fear bully finding it has no power over you, soon leaves.

Remind yourself of the following, several times throughout the day. and every time your fears rise to the top of consciousness.

"My fears are mere shadows, and most of these fears I have imagined are not about to become my reality.

The 5% that do are never as bad as I had envisioned them."

Take time to see yourself living your life in complete control and more fully and happily then you ever have before.

What you visualize all day long you will bring about.

Where you put the power of your attention is what manifests it self so do not dwell on or allow your fears in,

Stop bringing up and processing of your fears. as a result, soon, they fade away and are "out of here".

Article by Harlan Jacobsen. Harlan has been writing numerous articles and series on successful single life for 32 years that appear on the Internet and singles newspapers. For more articles on single life by Harlan, subscribe to some of his many free singles newsletters here: and visit his http://DatingAgain101.com and http://DivorceRecovery101.com

How to Overcome The Fear of Rejection

2008-01-22T07:32:00.000-08:00

How to Overcome The Fear of Rejection
by: Rick Valens

Feeling uncomfortable in the stomach, cold sweaty palm, trembling of legs, losing the ability to think correctly when approaching a girl? Hate yourself for not able to overcome this problem? Oh, please do not feel so. Believe me, you are not the only one facing this problem. In fact, this is a very common problem in man. Everyone is just like you, not willing to admit it openly, having the fear of being laughed and mocked by others. But there is absolutely nothing wrong for feeling so.

Well approaching a girl, asking her out for a date isn’t really as scary as you thought. For all you may know, the girl is just as or even more nervous than you. Some guys are born with the natural flair with girls while some guys are just born shy. But that doesn’t mean that they can’t do as good. In fact, shy men are who most girls are looking for. It is really a pity that all the good men are hiding up leaving the girls with not much of a choice but to hang out with the jerks.

So how can you overcome your fear? Well, this is something that I can’t help you. You simply just got to make that first step, that very first attempt. Still feeling too nervous? Ok, perhaps we should take things a little slower. There is actually no urgent need for you to just walk up to a girl and ask her out for a date. Too sudden? You might just scare her off. But please, don’t take for ages before someone else try to cut in the queue. I don’t suppose you memorized your whole school textbook before going for your exams? It’s the same thing, you don’t need to wait till you fully overcome your fear before you approach a girl.

Well anyway, I should believe that the both of you are at least like normal friends? Classmates? Colleagues or? Whatever it is, grab any chance to get closer to her. Too shy to strike a conversation with her? Look her in the eyes, drop her a nice warm smile. Make her notice you, make her remember you, let her know that you exist! You be surprised, your eyes can actually work more wonders than to words at times. All these will eventually boost the chance of success when approaching her at a later date. She will naturally feel more comfortable with you than to be approached by a total stranger.

Ok, now that you have done all of what you can do, no more excuses from you! Stop hiding up, it’s time to make your move. Now, I want you to follow very closely after me. Take a deep breathe, gather all your courage. She is sitting all alone on the bench under the tree. Slowly and steady, you walk towards her. Yes, step by step getting nearer and nearer. She turns and saw you approaching. Remember, she has seen you before, she knows who you are. Now look her in the eyes, smile at her. She greets you with her nice gentle smile. One final step, you stop in front of her. “Hi, what a coincides to see you here”, you say to her in a nice, friendly voice. “Busy with anything now? How about a little coffee together?” Smiling so sweetly at you she replies teasingly, “Your treat? Sure why not?”

Hey you still with me? Ha sorry, was just trying to play a little game of hypnosis with you. Did I fare horribly? Well anyway, it would really be so lovely if things were as what I had described? Why not? Why couldn’t it be possible? You see, the problem with most people is that they always tend to create negative thoughts; creating an image of failure, an image of been rejected in their mind before things actually happen. Subconsciously, they have actually rejected themselves before anyone else could even reject them and yes, the likely chances is they will fail. Just like in soccer matches, when David Beckham scores from his spectacular free kick? If at the moment before he even lifts his feet, he was creating the image of ballooning away the ball over the goal post in his mind, you think he will score? So why not picture things the other way round, telling your mind; yourself that you are going to make it? It will definitely boosts your confidence and the chance of a success.

Hope you are feeling more comfortable and less nervous now? But well, the chance of being rejected is nonetheless always still there. So what should happen if you really fail? You should learn to graciously accept the rejection. It is perfectly alright, my friend. At least you know you have tried? You finally pluck out that courage? There is nothing to feel ashamed of. Picture it this way; you are the one being approached instead. Approached by a girl that is not of your type. You would have rejected her as well, wouldn’t you? But would you make fun of her, laugh and mock at her? I should believe not? Instead, you would have felt happy and thankful to her; it is just a pity that she is not your type of girl? That is exactly how the girl whom rejected you would have felt too; it is just a pity that you are not her type of guy. Nobody would be laughing at you, probably they would be admiring you for your courage instead.

Though you might be rejected but believe me, once there is a first time the rest will just come naturally. You might be sad and disappointed but once you get yourself back, you would have remembered that it wasn’t as scary what you had thought. You would have probably already overcome a great deal of your fear. It is just like the first time driving out on your own after getting your license. For some unlucky ones, meeting up with a little accident. But that doesn’t stop them from driving on? In fact, experiences were gained. So was confidence along the way, driving more smoothly, stepping even harder on the accelerator?

Well, rejection is part and parcel of life. It is not only in love that you get rejected. In life, you are faced with more rejections. Rejections from your work? Your boss? Your business associates? Even your own family? But that won’t stop you from moving on in life?

Last but not least, there is one thing you have to accept. The fact that, you are a man! It is afterall still the guy’s job to do the asking. You just gotta do it and I am sure you can do it yeah?

Rick Valens
Staff Writer for http://www.loveletterbox.com ,
Love Relationship Discussion Forum

Currently also freelance writer for http://www.ecemetery.org,
Monument of Eternal Memory

NOTE: You're free to republish this article on your website, in your newsletter, in your e-book or in other publications provided that the article is reproduced in its entirety, including the author information and all live website link as above.

Romance On A Budget – Cheap Thrills Can Lead To A Lifetime Of Love

2008-01-10T07:15:00.000-08:00

Romance On A Budget – Cheap Thrills Can Lead To A Lifetime Of Love
by: Heidi Richards

Romance isn’t about spending money, it’s about spending time together, spending energy and creativity to attract and keep the relationship exciting and the love alive. - Heidi Richards

Romance isn’t about how much money you lavish on another. It’s about attracting the object of your affection. Romance is about making dreams and fantasies come true. Romance is defined as “an exciting and mysterious quality; a relationship between two lovers.” It is the “act of making your partner feel loved.” Romance is more than an act, it’s a state of being. It’s the heart, the soul and the mind working together to create an adventure, and increase enthusiasm for one another.

“Romance means intimacy and connection, which means paying attention to detail. It’s making her lunch or giving him a massage. It’s making the bed together and cuddling. It’s holding hands and leaving little “love notes” around the house. It’s touching and feeling and listening and sharing. It’s excitement and serenity, spontaneity and planning. It’s telling the other person what you want, and doing the things the other person likes. It’s connecting deeply.

Romance is about timing, imagination, exploration and creativity. Being Romantic is about…. being creative, being willing to take a risk. Sometimes it’s being sweet. Sometimes it’s being silly. Romance is about … the right attitude. And attitude can cost you a little or a lot. True romantics have the right attitude; and use imagination to cultivate loving, sensual relationships.

So just how do you develop the right attitude? Start out with little acts of affection, little things to show you care and can be romantic. Here are a few suggestions (excerpted from the book, Romance on a Budget) to help you spark your imagination.

- This Kiss (#10) – You must remember this; a kiss is still a kiss… kiss often. Repeat several times.

- Look into My Eyes (#11) – When you gaze into each others eyes, everyone else seems to disappear. And looking intensely at one another can send a message to your lover that can lead to other things.

- You Light up my Life (#15) - Spray the perfume or cologne you wear on a light bulb. When the light is turned on the scent of you will fill the room.

- What a Feeling (#19) – Tell your love how much you appreciate him/her. Write your message on a post-it-note and stick it where it is sure to be found.

- Get out of your Comfort Zone (Intro) – Do something impulsive, even a little risky that will excite your lover and ignite the romance.

Like the song says “Love Don’t come easy.” I believe that “Romance Don’t Come Easy. “ But with a little practice and planning, the results can be thrillllllllling….

About the author: © 2004 - Heidi Richards is the author of The PMS Principles, Powerful Marketing Strategies to Grow Your Business and 7 other books. She is also the Founder & CEO of the Women’s ECommerce Association, International www.WECAI.org (pronounced wee-kī) – an Internet organization that “Helps Women Do Business on the WEB.” She can be reached at www.HeidiRichards.com.

7 Ways to Drive a Man Wild

2008-01-03T06:17:00.000-08:00

Don't Give Away Your Power!

2007-12-30T07:31:00.000-08:00

Don't Give Away Your Power!
by: William Martin

Lets look at some ways we can get to know another person without giving our power away. This enables us to minimize the risk that we will get hurt in the process.

The other day, a lady asked me an interesting question. She said,
'Are you single?'. What I noticed about that is that it feels
like a very different question from 'Do you have girlfriend?'.

I also noticed that my respect for the person went up a notch
or two - even though I did not want to get into a romantic
relationship with her.

The reason for this is that asking 'Are you single?', has a
refreshing boldness about it without being pushy. Whereas the
"Do you have girlfriend / boyfriend?", question has a sort of
unspoken "you probably wouldn’t want me anyway" feeling about it.

At least in can drift into that if the person is not very careful
how they say it.

Like anything to do with personal power it "Ain’t what you do it's
the way that you do it". However, asking the right question is part of the way we do it.

One way we can make dating easier on ourselves is to change the
question so that we do ask people on 'dates' at all! What I mean is go for what some call "the no-date date". This is where we just
invite the person along to something we want to do anyway. It can be anything from a favorite café, a place which has the best cakes / donuts, or place with an unusual shop, or a particularly nice park and so on.

That way we can say something like, "I am going to a lovely park at the weekend. It has a beautiful path through the trees. Would you like to come?". (Or, whatever is suitable based on what you know about them). Invite them to do something fun or interesting, which does not take up too much time.

We are just inviting them along, so we spend time with them. It is not really clear to them whether it is an actual ‘date’ with
romantic intentions or not. We can get to know them a bit better
before we decide to go that way.

In this way we can avoid saying "Want to go out with me?", which
again just gives our power away. If they turn down a no-date offer next time you meet them you can even say, "Hey, you really missed out. That park / café / shop I told you about was great (and have something to say that reinforces this (weather was fabulous, they have the best coffee etc.)". This turns even a 'rejection' into something in your favor.

We can also invite someone we want to get to know to join in with
something we are doing with other friends. We don’t have to get
stuck in thinking we have to invite people out one-on-one.

You may wonder whether you will give the person the wrong
impression if you are interested in them, but not make it clear
from the start by specifically asking for a date. You actually
probably stand a better chance to get to know each other when
just relaxing without any pressure. However, your 'interest' will
probably be in who you think they are, rather than who they really are. Give yourself a chance to get to know them for real before deciding anything.

Besides better to find out early whether this is a person with whom you can just relax and have fun with. If the chemistry is right you will soon find yourself in real dates with them and you won't have had to give away your power to get there.

Author: William Martin is the founder of http://www.meetyourgreens.com a totally free dating site.

This article is free for republishing
Started writing in response to questions asked by members of the free dating site he runs.

Online Dating: 10 Critical Mistakes ALL People Make – Including You!

2007-12-22T18:08:00.000-08:00

Online Dating: 10 Critical Mistakes ALL People Make – Including You!
by: Elena Solomon
Copyright (C) 2005 Elena Solomon

Online dating is fascinating.

You can meet thousands of available singles that are literally just a click away, seeking love, romance, dating, marriage, friendship – and yes, of course sex. Men and women alike join dating services hoping to make new friends and start new relationships.

But there are some common mistakes ALL people make when using Internet personals – including YOU!
Here are ten common mistakes all people make when dating online. Check out if you are guilty of some of them.

MISTAKE #1 - “Giving it a try”Most people start using online personals with the attitude “Let me give it a try and see where it goes”. They don’t really think they WILL meet someone – they only HOPE to meet someone. What is the difference? When you “hope” to succeed, you don’t try hard enough – if it works, great, if it does not work, fine, at least I’ve tried. When you think you “will” meet someone, and it does not work, you change something in your approach to online dating to get the results you want.
BOTTOM LINE: Don’t “give it a try” – do your best.

MISTAKE #2 - Hoping “the right person will find you”Most people don’t pay when post their profiles on online dating sites, which usually means they can receive letters but cannot answer ads of other members. They hope people will be writing to them. If you are an 18-year-old model-type girl, this may work for you. But if you are not, then you shouldn’t hope your dream partner would email you out of blue. You will get much better results if pay for premium membership to the dating site and write to people yourself.
BOTTOM LINE: Contact other people; don’t wait for them to contact you.

MISTAKE #3 - Sending one-linersIt’s amazing how many people using online personals send letters of the type “Hi, liked your profile, please see my profile”. If your photo does not impress the other person in an instant, most likely they will just delete your email. Some *might* actually read your profile – and if there is nothing in your profile that impresses them in an instant, then they will also just delete your email.
BOTTOM LINE: Write letters that have some substance in them.

MISTAKE #4 - Sending form lettersI always know when I receive a form letter - always! I am sure you know it too. If there are no personal references in the letter, I know this letter was not written specially for me. No one wants to be one of the crowd. Every person wants to be special!
BOTTOM LINE: Write individual letters for each person you contact.

MISTAKE #5 - Writing boring lettersMany people are guilty of this one. They write about things they want to say and not what the other person wants to hear.The result: letters that are plain BORING.Remember: it’s not about YOU – it’s about THEM! Tell them what you liked about their profile so much that you decided to write to them. Some things may be uncertain in their profiles – ask questions and guess the answers. For example, she ticked “Tell you later” in her profile about kids – if she did not have any kids, she would say so. Ask if she has kids and tell her you think she does and that you just love kiddies. A person who actually THINKS and what more – thinks ABOUT HER, it’s indeed something special, and your letter is sure to get noticed. Don’t talk much about yourself in your letter (she can always read your profile) - tell her why you think you will be the right guy for HER. If you do not fit her requirements 100%, tell her why it won’t be a problem. You pride yourself as having great sense of humor? Back up your claim – make her laugh! From the first line, your letter should grab her attention and she should not be able to stop reading till the end. THEN she will be certainly compelled to check your profile on the Internet personals website.
BOTTOM LINE: Write interesting letters – the type of letters you would like to receive.

MISTAKE #6 - Contacting dozens of members at onceOnce people pay for their premium membership to the online dating site, they tend to contact dozens of members at once. The reason for that is that they don’t hope to receive much response. STOP for a minute: what are you actually looking for? Most of us are interested to start a relationship with someone special. In fact, all you need is only one person – but the one who is RIGHT for you. Do you really want to correspond with 50 people at a time? Spend more time reading profiles on the site, and then select a precious few that you like the most and write to them. Make sure you get responses from your favorites before contacting other people.
BOTTOM LINE: Don’t contact dozens of people at once – concentrate on the ones you like the most.

MISTAKE #7 - Not following upLet’s face it: we live in a fast-paced world. We tell people “Let’s get together soon” and forget it in an instant. We send an email, never get a response and lose the contact forever. This is extremely important when using Internet personals: if you do not get a response, follow up. Send another email. Tell them you are waiting for an answer and you want to hear from them even if they are NOT interested. Having somebody who is really interested in you is not very common nowadays. This very fact may convince people to answer you. Check if they are premium members. If they are not, they might have to pay the membership fee before they are allowed to answer your email, and this is the reason why they did not respond. Check the rules of the website before assuming they are not interested.
BOTTOM LINE: Follow up. Make sure there are no technical problems averting your contact.

MISTAKE #8 - Not having a photo in your profileIf you don’t have a picture in your profile, you are missing out on people’s attention great deal. Many great singles, men and women alike, NEVER answer mails from members without photos – leave alone writing to them. If you are concerned about privacy, take a photo where you are in the distance and hardly recognizable, or put on sunglasses. Smiling broadly also changes your face.
BOTTOM LINE: Put a photo in your profile. This is proven to increase your chances up to 10 times.

MISTAKE #9 - Bad body language on the photosWhen people look at your photos, they try to figure out what kind of person you are. If you cross your arms of legs, or in any other way “cover” your body on the photos, placing a barrier between you and the viewer, you make them think you are timid, insecure and lack confidence. Use open body language - open palms, arms on the sides of your body – never “covering” it, smile and “look” the viewers in the eyes.
BOTTOM LINE: Check your body language – people make their opinion about your personality by looking at your photos.

MISTAKE #10 - Giving upYou’ve tried this and that and nothing worked, so you give up: “Internet dating just doesn’t work for me”. That’s the biggest mistake of all. What you should do is to use your negative experience and learn WHY it did not work. Look at profiles of other people that attracted you and compare it with your own profile. Try to change your wording. Get a new photo with a happy smile. Try to contact somebody you feel nothing about and see how it goes. Maybe you are just trying too hard? Treat your search for a partner as you would treat the search for a new job: if at first you don’t succeed, try and try again. Make it your habit to check new listings every day and write to one person. See what works and use it again. Borrow ideas from other people. Just don’t give up!
BOTTOM LINE: Online dating works. All you need to do is to gain experience. Practice makes perfect. Your special person is waiting for you!

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ABOUT THE AUTHOR: Elena Solomon works in online dating since the early days of WWW. She is the exclusive dating consultant of Soulmades.com.au – Internet personals for singles seeking love, romance, relationships and fun.

Elena is the author of "12 Simple Rules for Success in Love, Life and Online Dating". For a limited time, you can get this popular e-book absolutely FREE at http://www.soulmades.com.au/freebook (normally sells for $49.95).

Get it today – the offer is limited!

Feng Shui and Romance

2007-12-17T23:44:00.000-08:00

Relationships: Giving to Get

2007-12-14T15:46:00.000-08:00

Relationships: Giving to Get
By Margaret Paul, Ph.D.

Are you giving love to your partner for the joy of giving,
or are you giving to get love?

I received the following email on this topic, asking for my
help:

"Hi, my name is Adam. I am living with my parents and I'm
thinking of moving out with my girlfriend Patty. But there
are some things that make me feel upset, and I don't really
know what to do. I love her but she doesn't seem to be the
person she was. At times she feels bad and upset. These
periods last for about 4 - 5 days. During these times she
seems more distant and our sex life just stops. This makes
me frustrated because for the past year I have been working
so hard to try and make her feel better when she feels bad.
I thought that it was working but now it seems nothing I do
works. I miss the old times because she kissed me randomly
all day and it made me feel so loved and wanted. She would
hold me, and tell me great things. It was like a fantasy.
Now, I'm lucky if she kisses me at least once in about 3
hours. I actually start all of the kissing. I start all of
the holding. It feels like I have to start everything.

Mainly at times it feels like she just wants me as a friend.
She doesn't make me feel loved or wanted. My feelings about
this come and go mainly around the times when she feels bad.
But these feelings also come around sometimes when she is
not feeling bad.

I just don't have a clue what to do, and I need some help."

Adam is giving to get. He wants control over getting Patty
to validate his worth and fill him up. He is fine as long as
Patty is having sex with him and kissing him a lot and
making him feel "loved and wanted." But, because Adam is not
doing anything to make himself feel loved and wanted, he is
addicted to Patty doing this. He is not giving his love to
Patty from a full place inside, a place inside filled with
love. Instead, he is empty inside and hopes that if he
"works hard" and is nice to Patty, he can have control over
getting her to fill his empty hole. As a result, Patty feels
pulled on to take responsibility for Adam's wellbeing, and
becomes upset and distant in the face of the pull. She is
getting turned off to Adam and just wants him as a friend
because his neediness is not attractive to her. When sex is
a way for Adam to get validated - rather than an expression
of his love - Patty will feel used rather than loved. when
they have sex.

Nothing will change in this relationship until Adam decides
to learn how to take responsibility for his own good
feelings rather than expect Patty to do it for him. Patty
wants him to come to her as a powerful and secure man, not
as a needy little boy needing her constant kisses to feel
okay about himself.

Adam needs to take his eyes off how Patty is treating him
and instead focus on how he is treating himself and Patty.
He needs to open to learning about what he is telling
himself and how he is treating himself that is causing his
emptiness and neediness. He needs to stop being a victim of
Patty's behavior and instead focus within on what he needs
to do for himself, for the little boy within him that wants
love and attention. He would have love to share with Patty
if he were to focus on giving himself love and attention and
on making himself happy, instead of trying to make Patty
happy in the hopes that she will make him happy. As it is,
he is just trying to get love - giving to get.

Adam is coming from a very common false belief – that our
best feelings come from being loved and desired. The truth
is that our best feelings come from being loving to
ourselves and to others. Adam won't know this until he
decides to change his intention from trying to have control
over getting love to learning about being loving.

About The Author:

Margaret Paul, Ph.D. is the best-selling author and
co-author of eight books, including "Do I Have To Give Up Me
To Be Loved By You?" and "Healing Your Aloneness." She is
the co-creator of the powerful Inner Bonding healing
process. Learn Inner Bonding now! Visit her web site for a
FREE Inner Bonding course: http://www.innerbonding.com or
email her at mailto:margaret@innerbonding.com. Phone
Sessions Available.

Margaret Paul, Ph.D. is the best-selling author and
co-author of eight books, including "Do I Have To Give Up Me
To Be Loved By You?" and "Healing Your Aloneness." She is
the co-creator of the powerful Inner Bonding healing
process. Learn Inner Bonding now! Visit her web site for a
FREE Inner Bonding course: http://www.innerbonding.com or
email her at mailto:margaret@innerbonding.com. Phone
Sessions Available

Love each other, and enjoy the ride.

2007-12-11T07:38:00.000-08:00

Love each other, and enjoy the ride.
by: Lindsay Wincherauk

The world can be a very scary place.

Everything seems to change on a daily basis.

Uncertainty in every aspect of life surrounds us.

We are all faced with one tragedy after another. On any particular day you can read about plane crashes, terrorism, crystal meth or whatever.

You may be wondering; how does this affect love?

The current divorce rate is nearing 50 per cent.

Can you imagine the impact on the children?

On one hand, no wonder relationships are struggling and the divorce rate is so high. We are living in a world of "me" time. Consumption is king.

We all need to take a deep breath and slow down. Life is moving too fast.

We need to get back to a day where we say "Hi" to our neighbours instead of fearing them.

On the other hand, it's not all bad: I'm happy, in fact, I'm individually optimistic, yet, globally pessimistic.

Can we change the course of things to come?

I don't know.

We've messed it up pretty bad.

Just think about it for a moment. The family unit is in a state of crisis; the institution of marriage may be failing. C'mon, two drinking buddies getting married in Ontario?

I suggest in the future for those of you walking down the aisle could you please uncross your fingers and take your tongue out of your cheek. You're only screwing up your kids and, in turn, our world.

If everyone actually meant, "till death do us part," the divorce rate may only be 20 - 25 per cent resulting in:

At least a 50 per cent reduction in unwanted children, in turn resulting in:
A smaller global population, in turn resulting in:
Less consumption, in turn resulting in: HOPE!

Wait a second, if that was the equation. I might not exist.

We have certainly left one messed up world for the next generation to try to fix. It's too bad that most of them come from broken homes. How are they going to fix the world, when they can't even fix themselves?

My radical suggestions:

Be aware of what is going on in "our" world.

Look at yourself first and the people in your life who matter and to try to encourage, nurture and love.

Turn off the news (except for 24 hours).

Laugh, smile and cry from time to time. Have a blast. Treat others with kindness. Make your "moments" memorable. Don't have kids just for the sake of it - kids aren't puppies.

Avoid confrontations: life is too short.

And most important, remember to hug each other.

We may not be able to fix the mess, however, we can have a blast during the ride.

This article is free for republishing
Authors Bio:

Lindsay Wincherauk (aka: the seed) is an aspiring author, photographer, entrepreneur and comic. Over the last several years he has discovered his passion: writing and photography. He loves formulating new ideas and images. He is driven by life and feels life is meant to be lived to the fullest. He takes his inspiration from life’s challenges and believes that we need to look at life from different angles to see the true beauty in things. His work captures individual beauty. He believes that life is best lived in the “moment” and that if you open your mind and eyes to the possibilities, you may discover greatness.

He has traveled to 18 different countries, has been a Best Man 6 times, a Pallbearer 3 times, and he is a Godfather. He has hung out with Rastafarians, Russians, Clowns and Drag Queens. He feels it is vitally important to embrace differences. He has co-authored one book and has two more in the works, which will be released in the not-too-distant future.

Lindsay attended the University of Saskatchewan and now resides in Vancouver, British Columbia.

For more information on the Seed and his first book Seed's Sketchy Relationship Theories - A Guide to the Perils of Dating (How not to become a bar regular) please visit:

http://www.seedenterprises.com

Amaze Your Lover - 16 Romantic Ideas To Keep Them Happy

2007-12-02T07:01:00.000-08:00

Amaze Your Lover - 16 Romantic Ideas To Keep Them Happy
by: Jessica Kihara

Some people have a natural ability to romance the oppposite sex and others seem like they don't even know what it means. However, everyone should know how to make their partner's heart melt because it's one of the finest acts of seduction.

For Your Wife/Girlfriend:

1. Kidnap her for a surprise picnic. Plan your rendevous for the weekend or when you both have a free day. Make sure she doesn't have any plans. Then you tell her to come with you to the supermarket or something along those lines. Give her time to get ready, get in the car, and pick up some take-out food. Then head to a nice empty beach or park and explain to her that you're having a romantic getaway!

2. Write her a poem. If this is not your thing, there are lots of places to get some inspiration. Try a poetry book, romantic song, etc. Just don't repeat anything word for word because it may sound familiar to her and she'll know you faked it.

3. Cook her a delicious meal, light some candles, dim the lights and CLEAN the house! When she gets home, she'll be speechless.

4. Hold her hand everytime you go out. If this isn't possible (because one of you is carrying a baby or pushing a shopping cart) then make sure to maintain some form of physical contact. This will make her feel like you're proud to be with her and can't keep your hands off her!

5. Give her a spa like treat. Fill your tub with warm water then add some milk and honey. Invite her in, give a a nice scrub down, then sit behind her and give her a firm yet gentle scalp massage.

6. Plan a photography session. Let your wife or girlfriend get all dolled up for you, then take pictures of her that you'll keep in your wallet, office, or car. Tell her that she's beautiful and that she takes amazing pictures.

7. Get up a few minutes before her one day and write a simple "I Love You" on a post-it. Stick the post-it on the bathroom mirror or someplace she'll be sure to see it. This is guaranteed to make her feel special and lovey-dovey! If you wan't to expand on this idea, you can leave sweet little notes for her in so many other places too!

8. If you're an artist, take inspiration from Titanic and draw, paint, or sculpt your lover. You'll get the best resluts if your masterpiece actually looks good but if not, tell her you could never create something as beautiful as her.

For Your Husband/Boyfriend:

1. After a hard day at work, give your man an exquisite back massage. Use some aromatheraoy massage oil to relax and soothe him.

2. Wear lingerie. This might not seem like the most romantic thing to do, but he will absolutely love it. He will definitely appreciate the effort you made and it'll seem super-romantic to him!

3. If your lover shaves his face, you do it for him. Play some romantic music, lather him up, and use slow, gentle strokes to shave him. DO NOT cut or nick him! Just take your time and he'll feel satisfied and taken care of.

4. Take some time out to just look into each other's eyes. Appreciate his presence, his scent, and his warmth. If you feel like kissing him, go for it!

5. Pretend to need him. Men like to be the ones to protect you, so tell him you get scared when he's not around or that you feel safe with him there.

6. Cuddle him unexpectedly. Warning - do this when you two are completely alone so that he won't feel uncomfortable or embarassed. To keep him happy, stop before he feels crowded. I suggest you hold him for about 5-6 minutes, then give him some space.

7. Buy him tickets to a football or basketball game that you know he wants to see. To keep things romantic, go with him and cheer for his team!

8. Cook him a huge feast, let him stuff himself, then you load the dishes in the dish washer while he rests. When you're done, sit near him and stroke his arms while whispering sweet nothings in his ear.

These are great tips that you can use anytime. Good for special occassions such as anniversaries or when you just want your partner to feel extra special. Don't ever let your significant other forget how much you care. Keep them feeling warm and fuzzy and they'll treat you so much better!

Jessica Kihara

To join our newsletter and special report, simply send a blank e-mail to mailto: newsletter@sensationaltreasures.com

GHM Industries, Inc.
http://www.SensationalTreasures.com

Tips to Spice Up Your Marriage

2007-11-30T02:59:00.000-08:00

Tips to Spice Up Your Marriage
by: Kelli Precup

Every marriage needs a little relief from the same old bedroom routine now and then. Here is a collection of tips to up the Scoville units in your romance.

Get Wet and Wild

The bath or shower can be more than just a place to get clean! It can also be a sexy rendezvous to reconnect with your spouse. Taking the time to bathe each other and wash one another’s hair can be a sensual delight. Steam up the bathroom with some erotic accessories inviting to both you and your spouse. If you have the available counter space or open shelves, place scented candles around the room. Keep aromatic bath oils and waterproof toys close by. Just be sure you have a private place to store your toys if you have children or expect guests.

One if by Land...

Keep a set of "signal" sheets (or even just a signal pillow) that you or your spouse can put on the bed to silently request a romantic tryst. Pick an unusual color, a sexy material like satin or a bold pattern - or a pillow with a sexy come-hither saying on it.

An Appetite for Love

Prepare a dinner that is a prelude to love wearing nothing but an apron and a smile. There are so many foods that have been thought to be aphrodisiacs that you will have no problem planning a menu. Some ideas are oysters, pine nuts, peaches, grapes, walnuts -- even asparagus - or just serve something special to the two of you. More important than the food is that the meal stirs the senses by evoking arousing smells, tastes and textures. Don't forget to play mood music and put candles in every room. You don't even have to make it to the bedroom - why not have a change of sexual venue in the kitchen?

Go Postal!

Buy some pretty or provocative stationery - or use your computer to create an invitation for a romantic date or trip for you and your spouse. Include all of the details including the time, date, what to wear and where to meet, but keep the romantic event itself a surprise. Address the envelope to your spouse and mail it to him or her. In this era of instant communication with email, text messaging and cell phones, the invitation will be a romantic surprise.

Let's Dance

Remember when a mix tape was sooo romantic? To get you in the mood, make a mix CD of all of your favorite sexy songs or fun songs and have a dance together. Get as wild or as romantic as you wish - your dances can go as far as you like. You can add a bump-and-grind music and do your own strip tease or some salsa and do your own forbidden dance of love.

Reach Out and Touch Someone

Don't forget simple pleasures. Brushing your spouse's hair, a light sensual massage or just cuddling can be extremely sensuous. Touching always leads to more touching. Play touching games by seeing how lightly you can run your hands over your spouse's body, spell out suggestive words with your finger and see if he or she can guess what you wrote.

Hide and Seek

Take a sexy picture of yourself and hide it with a suggestive note in his or her briefcase, wallet or lunch box. Just make sure not to put it where it may be found by children or coworkers.
Trick or Treat
Costumes are not just for kids at Halloween. There are so many sexy costumes out there for men and women. Try role playing as a pilot and a stewardess - or a teacher and a schoolgirl - or a real estate agent and a prospective home buyer. The possibilities are endless. Fantasy foreplay can lead you to realms of spiciness you never knew existed. Let your imagination run wild.

Romance Zone

Keep your bedroom off limits for everything except sleep and romance. Do not allow it to be a center of the household where you write bills or do work, it should be a haven for you and your spouse and a stress-free zone where you enjoy one another and your marriage. Use soft colors and fabrics, fresh cut flowers on your nightstand, mirrors and your favorite art - anything to create an atmosphere of relaxation and sensuality.

About the author:
Copyright 2005 www.katieroseintimates.com

Katie Rose is the owner of Katie Rose Intimates Sexy Costumes and Lingerie A fine lingerie shop featuring fantasy clothing, leather and lace and intimate apparel in sexy, erotic, romantic and unique styles - with special attention for the plus size woman.

ATTENTION WEBMASTERS and EZINE PUBLISHERS - Permission is granted to publish this article on your site or in your Ezine but ONLY if my bio paragraph is included and all links are hyperlinked. I would also appreciate a note letting me know that you are using it, although it is not mandatory, I just like to see where my work is being used.

How to Use Your Brain to Seduce Women

2007-11-29T17:42:00.001-08:00

How to Use Your Brain to Seduce Women
by: Caterina Christakos

CHESS-MATE

If you're one of those guys telling to yourself that Antonio
Banderas might be a little prettier then you but again your IQ
beats that of Einstein by an inch, than the next lines were written for you. You have to know how to use your advantage against a two-digit IQ macho-man and this is no easy deal. Some studies even say that intelligence alone is actually not too sexy to most people. Therefore it would be wiser to use intelligent ways to seduce a woman then just act smart.

There are more ways to do this, some better and some worse. For example, you can be immoral enough to use your wits just to have sex, by manipulating women. For this "hit-and-run" approach you'll need a little more than just your intelligence, you'll have to know how the human mind, women's in particular, work in order to outsmart them, control the game and win it using their own weapons. But before you get to keen on the idea just remember that there are other, more honest ways of winning a woman's admiration.

All of our actions, interacting with the opposite sex included,
involve a little risk taking. If you think you are the hit-and-run
type of guy maybe you should watch Cruel Intentions and destroy all the excitement that comes with the game. But if you're not then just "go with the flow" and see what happens. Gamble a little and let romance play its natural role in a relationship.

If you take things even further into consideration you might end up concluding that every single word and gesture we do when we interact with another person has its risky part in it. Saying "HI" to a stranger on the street, asking someone on a date, asking for her phone number in the middle of the date or trying to get the first kiss at the end of the night... There are always two possibilities: the YES possibility and the NO possibility. But
would it be so exciting if you wouldn't take all these risks?

Compare this interaction with a snow boulder! With each risk you
decided to take the boulder gets bigger and heavier. And if all
goes well it will get big enough to become unstoppable. That's
when you can say that you have a real relation.

Playing the game smartly also includes playing it honestly. The
hit-and-run guys pose as the feminist sensitive men while using
their wits to control the game and reach their goals. But sincerity
is about something else, it's about being yourself.

More than that it is about being comfortable with who you are
entirely. It's about doing what you want to do and not fear that
you will lose something because of your actions. And most
importantly it's about honestly not want something in particular
from a woman because seducing a woman is not a goal in itself, is
not a hunting game, nor a chess game. It's just our way of finding
the other half.

About The Author:

Caterina Christakos is a dating coach and author. For you free seduction guide go to: http://www.what-women-want.com

How to Talk to a Woman

2007-11-25T08:11:00.000-08:00

How to Talk to a Woman
by: Caterina Christakos

Taking a girl out on a date already says a lot. But this whole business is not just about seducing someone. You must gain the confidence and trust of the person sitting at the other end of the table. More than that, you must make her feel good in your presence and even want more. How to do this? Simple! When you're not flirting with her just let her take control for a while.

Always keep in mind that women's favorite subject is themselves. This little "bug" in their software gives men a big advantage in a conversation and that is curiosity. Yet, only few use it because of the misconceptions surrounding curiosity in general. Curiosity may have killed the cat, but when a conversation between a man and a woman is concerned, I don't think it ever hurt anyone. What I'm trying to say is that if she says something that makes you curious... just ask her! This will tell her that you are interested in her person. Nevertheless, watch out for those not so discreet questions that could turn you into a cat and get you killed.

Another thing most men forget is that women, even the prettiest, disregard themselves. If you discovered something about her that you really like make sure she can feel your admiration. This rule applies to anything from the color of her eyes to the way she back-parked her car for example. Still, try to use original ways to make compliments and remember that you'll receive the most "points" for cherishing her intelligence.

Always listen to her when she talks! Sounds too obvious? Maybe, but the key thing is that it counts less if you've been really listening to her as long as she thinks you weren't. Therefore you can use several tricks like saying confirmation phrases ("I see", "yes" etc.) showing that you're following her. Just don’t do it so much that she mistakes you for her shrink. Re-telling what she just said is another useful skill as long as you don't abuse it. You simply rephrase what she said and she'll know you got the point. Nevertheless it can be very annoying if you overuse it.

And, as I mentioned earlier, when she makes you curious about something just ask her! This proves you were listening in the first place. The same happens when you make a compliment based on something she just said.

But curiosity can also be used whenever you run out of topics in a conversation. Every woman is curious by nature so all you have to do is to stir her curiosity and forget all about you running out of interesting subjects or her getting bored.

About The Author:

Caterina Christakos is a published author and dating coach.
Learn more of what to do and what not to do with women. Go to:
http://www.powerdatingexplosion.com

Blind Date Secrets - 5 tips to ensure you both have a great time

2007-11-24T09:26:00.000-08:00

Blind Date Secrets - 5 tips to ensure you both have a great time
by: Jake Markus

So you’re going on a blind date. Few dating scenarios are as nerve wracking, and you’ve probably heard lots of horror stories about miserable blind dates. Your blind date doesn’t have to be a disaster, though, if you follow a few simple suggestions to help it be more successful.

Prepare Yourself

Communication experts say that we commonly form an impression of someone new within the first four minutes of meeting them. The first impression you make will set the stage for the entire blind date so prepare in advance to make a good one. Choose clothes that are appropriate for the date, not too revealing or strange. Get a fresh haircut, trim your fingernails, and shine your shoes if needed. On the day of date itself, allow plenty of time to get ready and allow extra travel time to wherever the two of you are meeting.

Where To Go And What To Do

Plan the date for a neutral location, preferably one where there will be a number of other people. When you don’t know the other person it’s not safe to meet in private, plus if you’re in a fairly active location it’s easier to disengage yourself from the date if necessary.

Most dating experts recommend that a blind date not be centered on a meal. If the date isn’t going well and you’re having dinner, you have to stick it out longer than if you’re meeting for coffee. There’s also the cost factor to consider. If either person is investing a lot of money in the date activity that puts more intense pressure on both people.

The First Meeting

Arrive a little early, make sure you’re neatly dressed, and step forward with a polite greeting and hand shake. Remember to smile and be friendly, even if you feel nervous. If you’re a man, open doors, hang up her coat, and pull out her chair if you’re sitting down. If you’re a woman and your date does these things for you, say thank you and enjoy being treated with good manners.

Making Conversation

Getting the conversation started and keeping it going is important to the success of your date. Remember those experts who said a first impression is formed in less than four minutes? They also tell us that communication is based on much more than just words. In fact, when you’re talking with your date the words you use only account for 7% of the total communication occurring. Your tone of voice accounts for 38% of your message and body language accounts for the remaining 55%.

Ending The Date

When the date comes to an end, thank the other person and say something general like “I enjoyed meeting you.” If things went really well then you can indicate if you’d like to date him or her again. If things didn’t go so well then don’t say you’ll call, or that maybe you could get together again sometime. This will create a false impression in the other person and simply avoids the truth.

If you don’t want to see the other person again, it’s okay to say so politely. Saying something like “I think we don’t have a lot in common” is much kinder than saying “I’ll call you” and then not calling. Always be kind, though, and make every effort to spare his or her feelings as much as possible.

About The Author:

Adam and Drew's Dating Tips has a large variety of free articles that have been written by consulting 'experts' in the dating, flirting and relationship fields. Find out more at http://www.adamanddrew.com

About Thai Girls and Why Western Girls loosing ground !

2007-11-24T09:24:00.000-08:00

About Thai Girls and Why Western Girls loosing ground !
by: Dao Jones

David is living in Thailand and writes. Read his story. Why Western Girls hate Thailand !

Have you ever seen an ex-pat with a farang (in Thai language= foreigner/westerner) girlfriend? Me neither. Throughout Thailand, farang girls have been swapped for Thais in a manner reminiscent of the 1950’s science fiction classic Invasion of the body snatchers - "it’s some kind of pod... aaagh!" Why does this happen?

Loads of farang girls enjoy holidaying in Thailand with their boyfriends. It’s the ones who come with their girlie mates who discover that the fortnight is not as fun-filled as they had hoped. Just like the rest of humanity, western girls relish the chance to meet new people and get fucked rotten. It’s the second part of the equation that Thailand often fails to deliver – for girls, anyway.

I visited the island of Koh Samed a few months ago and noticed a group of pretty English girls who were out looking for a good time. In Ibiza, these provocatively dressed minxes would’ve had to beat the fellas off with a shitty stick. On Koh Samed, however, they partied alone. There are no girlie bars on the island, so the western guys had all played it safe and brought their Thai sweethearts along.

As the girls’ frustration mounted, one of them copped-off with a Thai waiter. There was no age gap but the height gap was a bit noticeable. She popped him into her pocket and took him back for a night of fun in her bungalow.

Next day, I was lucky enough to overhear part of the post-mortem. Apparently he was quite sweet but had burst into tears when she asked him to use a condom. His English was quite basic but he was able to explain his family problems and financial difficulties.

The topic was dropped when her new boyfriend arrived with a couple of his little mates. He was wearing her T-shirt. Food and drink was ordered and the girls footed the bill. Everyone seemed to be enjoying themselves, although the other girls weren’t giving out any fuck-me vibes to his mates.

Their patience was rewarded when a couple of days later a group of good looking English lads turned up unaccompanied. The two groups soon became one. The new Thai boyfriend went into limpet-mode and showered his girl with public displays of affection. Her discomfort was obvious. Even after she dumped him, he hovered around like a bad fart.

The whole episode was priceless entertainment and it illustrates well the sexual politics that make farang girls hate Thailand. It seems that the dating strategies employed by some Thai men are not far removed from those of their fun-loving sisters. The sickly confection of charm and freeloading is served up with a large dollop of jealousy.

Men can never resist second helpings but why do women find this dish so unpalatable? It’s because they want their men to be strong, dependable, generous, respectful, kind, high-status, intelligent, hard working, sincere etc. The list just goes on and on. If you fall short of their ideal, they won’t hold back in telling you about it either – in endless detail.

Men value these things too, but they don’t bang on about it so much. If she’s cute and funny, a man can generally forgive a girl her shortcomings. The western girl in our story was turned-off by the waiter’s whining. As men, we are used to sharing our lives with women who whine and it’s just water off a duck’s back. What we are not used to, however, are women who restrict their whining merely to asking for pocket money. It’s a breath of fresh air.

When it comes to snaring a man, Thai girls leave their western sisters at the starting gate. It’s not just their cheeky charm and good looks. The killer punch is how they make a man feel valued. To do this, they give him their undivided attention and refrain from hurtful criticism. In other words, they show him that they value him warts and all (even if they don’t). They may only be after his money but, if a guy is happy, he probably doesn’t care.

Western women just can’t stomach the indignity of lowering themselves to this level. That’s why in Bangkok they are generally seen out alone. Their chances of finding a boyfriend are slim and of keeping one slimmer. Some are reduced to paying Thai men for sex. It doesn’t take long for them to become bitter and unhappy. They could do with losing a few pounds too.

There is, however, some hope for our sex-starved farang chicks with attitude. A few thrifty guys have plugged into this niche market to save themselves 1,000 baht a night. Reportedly, it’s like shooting blonde pussy in a barrel. The wise swordsman will go back to her place, boot the soft toys off the bed and quickly dump his load before getting back to join the lads for last orders.

Do you want to know more about Thai women or about Asian Girls ?

Click here to visit my favourite pages :

Asian-Girls-Dating Homepage

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Emotional Infidelity: A KEY Tactic to Save the Marriage

2007-11-19T19:22:00.000-08:00

Emotional Infidelity: A KEY Tactic to Save the Marriage
by: Dr. Robert Huizenga

Hearing that your cheating spouse is “in love” with someone else is devastating. I hear often, “I can handle her having sex with someone else. I think I can live with that. But, for her to give herself emotionally and “love” someone else…man, that is hard.” (Feel free to substitute the word he for she in this article.)

What can you specifically do to increase the odds of saving the marriage?

So often the offended spouse reacts with intense feelings and pulls out all stops to “win her back.”

He applies pressure. Begs. Cajoles. Makes promises. Gets in her face. Sends flowers. Arranges for dates. Talks to her family and friends. Calls her on the phone. Asks questions… daily, sometimes hourly. He is on her like a fly on doo-doo.

It doesn’t work.Why? Well, for one reason she has found all the stimulation and excitement she supposedly needs in her new found “love.”

At a deeper level this is confusing enough for the cheating husband or cheating wife. Any additional input will be overwhelming and she is liable to close the door on the marriage even further. Plus, she is really looking for some stability, some solid centered core that will hold her firm when the wind of drama entices her and blows around her.

If you bombard her with your neediness, you are certainly not the person who can help her in ways she really seeks.

She also is liable to create a polarity and begin comparing you to him. With your neediness dripping all over you, you don’t stand a very good chance of coming out on top. Sorry!

Here’s a tactic that helps solve the dilemma and gives you a greater chance of saving the marriage.It’s called “back off!”

Stop pressing. Slow down the pace. Be silent – most of the time. Stop making requests. Stop asking questions. Stop trying to wiggle out some assurance. Stop being a pain!

Remember, this “in love” state will fade. You need to have the confidence that it will. You need patience. The relationship will run its course.

She needs the space. She needs some quiet moments to truly hear herself and face the emptiness within. There will be a voice within her that says, “This will not last. Is this what I really want? At some time I must live in the real world. Where is this taking me? Is this where I really want to go? Why am I so dependent on him? Why do I feel this empty pit in my stomach when I’m not with him? What does this say about me?”

This is her opportunity to learn about TRUE love. Don’t get in her way.

I know. I know. This is easier said than done. But, you must do it. It is vitally important that you learn to quiet yourself, control yourself and keep on the straight and narrow path.

At this point with those I coach, I teach them a skill called "charging neutral" to help "back off." Use that skill.This will take some effort. It might take some coaching or therapy. It most likely will demand that you get to know yourself better, that you gain more confidence in you – apart from what she does with him – that you build a strong foundation under yourself that can weather any storm.

This is your opportunity to grow to another level.

Oh, by the way. She will notice! And….she might like it.

Backing off does not mean that you don’t have anything to do with her. Quite the contrary. You want to maintain your contact with her, but it will be QUALITY contact. It will be contact that does honor to you, confronts her with the reality of her decisions and works toward resolution for the marriage.

Summary: Less often means more when facing emotional infidelity. Learning a specific skill such as "backing off" enhances one's chance to save the marriage.

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Dr. Robert Huizenga, The Infidelity Coach, has helped hundreds of couples over the past two decades heal from the agony of extramarital affairs and survive infidelity. Visit his website at: http://www.break-free-from-the-affair.com
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Love Advice: Let Fate Decide?

2007-11-18T06:20:00.000-08:00

Love Advice: Let Fate Decide?
by: Rick Valens

One of the most commonly asked questions, What is Love? What is its exact definition? Well, there can never be a definite answer. Everyone got his or her own answer to it. To some it can be really simple while to others, it can get really complicated. But one definite thing that is for sure, everybody needs love. It is a basic human need; we are not born into this world to be alone. It has always been our natural instinct as human to reach out to people, to be with and accepted by others. Consciously or subconsciously, everyone is searching and waiting for that special someone to appear in his or her life.

But where and when will this special someone appear? For all you may know, he or she could be just nearby or even just beside you. It all depends on fate a lot would say. Fate? Well fate is again, something that cannot be explained, something that is always so amazing. Think about it. Among the millions and millions of people who could be out there, why is it that you had somehow met your friends to later become the best of friends? Got retrenched, feeling so terrible and disappointed but to later find your love among your new colleagues in your new job? Life has just suddenly become so beautiful?
Well, this is indeed a very true encounter of a friend of mine. Hmm… thinking about it, isn’t there also kind of a fate between you and me that you are actually reading this article right now? Everything is like all so miraculously arranged, having a reason behind every event that happened.

Do you believe in fate? Personally I definitely do. But again, are we really going to be just sitting around doing nothing, waiting for fate to just come by? Well, I wouldn’t think so. If you are not going to help yourself, who is going to? Fate has always been around us. As long as we are in places where there are people, presence it may be. Many at times, it had actually been there but somehow we just didn’t realized and cherished it when it was there. Sad to know of it, isn’t it so? Well, sometimes we were just too obsessed with our works, dreams and nevertheless too high an expectation that we missed to see it, to cherish that someone who was all along just beside us. It is only too late to realize it now, an opportunity won’t drop by twice. Your happiness lies in your own hand, don’t live your life a regret. I am sure you wanna have a life that is so full of fond memories than with tons of regrets, don’t you? Think about it.

Let us just open up ourselves shall we? Everyday is a beautiful day, stop burying yourself with that tons of endless work. Make time for yourself, reach out, make more friends, make new friends, widen up your social circle, live a balanced healthy social life. Make life enjoyable; you will see things in a more different way. You might be going, “Hmm… why is it that all this while, I have never noticed that she is actually such a pretty girl.” Well, in fact this is how true love comes about. It doesn’t always have to be a love at first sight, to be attracted to his or her physical look. Sometimes it is through an initial friendship, enjoying the companion of one another that along time, you discover the beauty of his or her inner human qualities, unknowingly falling in love with the person. Wouldn’t this be a more beautiful and meaningful love than to a love at first sight?

Remember, love has always been a game ever awaiting your participation. Just as in life, it is a game of chance; if you never try you can never win. Well if you did not find your love today, be disappointed do not. It is just like missing the last boat leaving the dock.
There will always be another one to pick you up the next morning? And always will there be.

Now, another boat is getting ready to set off soon. To the land of great romance and opportunities it will sail. The question is, will you board it?

Rick Valens
Staff Writer for http://www.loveletterbox.com ,
Love Relationship Discussion Forum

Currently also freelance writer for http://www.ecemetery.org,
Monument of Eternal Memory

Top 10 Ideas To Revive a Fizzling Relationship

2007-11-15T23:06:00.000-08:00

Top 10 Ideas To Revive a Fizzling Relationship
by: Micheline Micheline

Top 10 Ideas To Revive a Fizzling Relationship
?Copyright 2005 Micheline

Love is exciting, and when a relationship is new, almost
everything you do together is fresh and alive, and keeps
you enthralled. Then time begins to pass, and while the
love is still there, the relationship may have lost some of
its sparkle, whether it's because you now have a family
or not. Here are some of the top 10 ideas to revive a
fizzling relationship that might just put some of the
bubble back into the champagne of your life.

1. Do something unexpected. Send your partner
flowers at work. That applies to men, too! Or take them
out for dinner on a weeknight.

2. What lit your fire to start with? Strike the match
again, by duplicating that initial moment you fell in love
with your partner, and be sure to tell them why you've
created this just for them.

3. Communicate. If you find it hard to say things, try
surprising your better half with notes in their lunch, on
their pillow, in the car, etc. Often the written word opens
other doors.

4. Make time just for you. And don't break the date!
Book babysitters ahead or clear your work calendar so
there is nobody on it but the other person.
5. Get out of the rut!-literally. Take your partner
somewhere new, and alone. Even if it's just a cabin on
the lake. Rediscover each other all over.

6. Find something you like about your partner, every
day. Then tell them what it is.

7. Find a shared interest. Explore new hobbies,
sports, or other interests that you both like, and can
participate in together.

8. Accept your partner's faults. Then admit your
own. Make an effort not to keep repeating them out of
laziness or habit.

9. Get physical. Touch your partner. In compassion,
sympathy, friendship, and sexual attraction. Let them
know that you are there.

10. Make promises, and keep them. Slip a note into
their wallet or purse that says what is being served for
dinner tonight, and promise that dessert will be worth
waiting for!

Micheline says, if you're still in love, there is always hope.
Visit http://www.MoreRomanceInYourLife.com for 37
more tips to revive your love life.

This article is free for republishing
Micheline says, if you're still in love, there is always hope.
Visit http://www.MoreRomanceInYourLife.com for 37
more tips to revive your love life.

Contact him at http://www.MoreRomanceInYourLife.com

Romance Art

2007-11-11T02:34:00.001-08:00

Romance Art

All about romance art for making true and pure romance.